This Mortal Coil
by The Blue Raven
Summary: Mel contracts a lifethreatening case of meningitis. As she lingers in a coma, her friends must come to term with her mortality and their own feelings... very minor spoilers for the Pilot ep and Cloud 9
1. Chapter 1

**This Mortal Coil**

Summary: Mel contracts a life-threatening case of meningitis. As she lingers in a coma, her friends must come to term with her mortality and their own feelings.

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I don't own them but, hey, just as soon as that deal with Zin goes through…

Timeline: First half of the season, pre "Love, Cirronian Style"

Spoilers: Minor for the Pilot and "Cloud 9"

Author's Note: Thanks to Kameka for betaing and to Fluffy Cat for helping me on the medical details.

Feedback: Better than Fek-Maln. Always welcomed and much appreciated.

This Mortal Coil 

"To die, to sleep --  
To sleep, perchance to dream, ay there's the rub,  
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come  
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,  
Must give us pause; there's the respect  
That makes calamity of so long life."

-- William Shakespeare, Hamlet ****

**Chapter 1 **

"Cole, could you do me a favor?" Mel asked quietly from the door of the war-room.

Cole was surprised that Mel was up at this hour, but no less pleased at the prospect of having her for company. He smiled as he looked up at her, but his smile quickly faded. She was leaning against the doorframe, both hands braced firmly against the wall, and Cole badly suspected that this was the only thing keeping her upright. She was so _pale_ and swaying on her feet. Even at a distance, he could feel how weak her life-force was. He rose swiftly and closed the distance between them, gathering her into his arms and half-carrying her into her bedroom.

"Are you ill, Mel?" he asked anxiously, helping her sit on the edge of her bed. 

He had known all day that she was not feeling well. She had seemed fine at breakfast, but afterwards she had rapidly become less than fine. She had been moving and thinking slowly, tired, weak, and had refused to eat, complaining of an upset stomach. Cole had been worried, spent most of the day following her around and trying to get her to eat or rest, asking if she was sick. She had dismissed his concerns and assured him that she was just fine, saying that she had been working too hard since Isabel was sick and she was just a bit worn as a result. But she had obviously been mistaken. In their three months together, he had _never_ seen Mel in such a state.

She nodded weakly. "Think so, Cole. I don't think I've ever felt this bad in my life."

Cole frowned as he watched her attempt to nod. Her neck rigid, her head barely moved at all. "Are you in pain? Where?"

She nodded and leaned forward, resting her hands on her knees. "Headache, Cole. Like a migraine, but worse. Pretty weak, too."

"Here, Mel, lay down," he directed, helping her into a prone position. "What should I do? Call Jess? Or Vic? Jonas? Should I call Jonas?" he offered, the questions tripping out rapid-fire. One of their human friends was sure to know what was wrong with Mel and how to help her. They could tell him what to do, how to help, how to make her well.

"Calm down, Cole," she ordered gently. It was as close to frantic as she had ever seen the stoic Tracker come. "Everything's going to be just fine. I just need you to drive me to the hospital." She shivered violently as she spoke. "Can you do that, Cole?"

"Of course I can, Mel," Cole assured her gently. She was obviously quite cold in spite of the heavy pajamas she was wearing, so he wrapped her in a blanket and lifted her into his arms. "Don't worry, Mel. We'll get you to the hospital and they'll fix you."

She nodded weakly, resting her head against his shoulder. She had to reposition her entire body to accomplish that. "Thank you, Cole."

"It's okay, Mel. You're going to be okay," he promised. 

He sighed deeply. Holding her like this, he realized that her life-force was even weaker than he had thought at a distance. She was _very_ sick and he felt helpless to do anything about it. He simply did not know enough about her species. He could have kicked himself for not making a greater effort to learn. At the back of his consciousness, hovering like a predator ready to strike, was a single, unsettling thought. If Mel was as weak and as sick as she seemed to be, she might die. The idea of life without Mel, even in the few short months he had known her, was almost unbearable to him.

"Oh, hang on," she ordered as he carried her down the hall. "Let's go in the living room. I need to call Jess so she knows that I might not be there to help her open tomorrow. With Isabel sick, she'll have to do it alone unless she can get Bridgett…"

Cole kept walking, fishing his cell-phone out of his pocket and handing it to Mel. "You can call her on the way," he said, not wanting to delay the process of getting Mel treatment, not by one second.

"Thank you, Cole." 

Mel sighed, clutching the phone in her hand and trying to remember the younger woman's phone-number. Her mind was foggy and she was having trouble concentrating on anything for more than a few seconds at a time. She would remember the first two or three numbers, but by the time she could recall the next few numbers the first were already gone. Her sudden inability to remember her best friend's phone-number was disorienting, frightening. 

"You're going to be just fine, Mel," Cole whispered gravely as he carefully carried her down the stairs and across the dark bar.

"I know," she whispered, leaning into his chest as he unlocked the passenger-side door of her car. As bad as she felt, it was hard to have anything other than complete confidence in her alien housemate. He would make everything okay, exactly as he always did.

"Here, Mel. Just relax and let me help you," he directed as he carefully transferred her into the seat. He resettled the blanket around her before buckling her seat belt and closing the door. He circled the car quickly and climbed into the driver's seat, pulling on his own seat belt and starting the car. "Are you still cold, Mel?"

"Yeah, Cole," she sighed, resting her head against the window. 

Just sitting upright had become an effort. She had spent the day dismissing her symptoms as nothing and the evening assuming that she was getting the flu. Now she was sure it was a lot more serious than the flu. Isabel had called in sick. Isabel, whose school the health-department had closed down for… something. She could not quite remember at the moment. She shivered again, a combination of cold and fear, and wondered if she was dying. Something told her that she very well might have been.

"You're going to be okay, Mel," Cole promised again, turning the heater up all the way. He reached out and brushed his fingers across her cheek before shifting the car into gear. He winced at the feel of her life-force, even weaker than it had been just a few moments ago. "Mel, would you mind if I broke a few human laws?" he asked uncertainly.

It took Mel a moment to make sense of this request, then she shook her head. "Just go the speed-limit, Cole. The hospital's not that far and there's not a lot of traffic."

"Mel, I really think…"

"Cole, I don't want you getting pulled over," she sighed, feeling as breathless as if she had just run five miles instead of simply telling him not to break any traffic-laws.

"Yes, Mel," he said in a tone that clearly indicated that he was _not_ happy with the restrictions she was placing on him.

Fortunately, Mel had been right about how light traffic tended to be on a weeknight at three in the morning and they reached the hospital quickly. Vividly recalling a very firm lecture Mel had recently given him, he even remembered to park in the parking lot. He was less than pleased with the distance between the car and the emergency entrance, so after he had lifted Mel into his arms again, he went into hyper-speed, closing the distance in the space between one labored beat of her heart and the next. 

"Wh--" Mel looked around sluggishly, confused to find herself at the entrance so quickly.

"It's okay, Mel," Cole reassured her gently, holding her close and burying his face in her hair for a moment before carrying her inside. "I'm here."

"I know," she said in a thick voice, nodding weakly. "I know you are. The registration desk is--"

"I know, Mel," he reminded her gently, starting in that direction. "I brought Jess here a few weeks ago. Remember?"

"Um…" She paused to think, then nodded slowly. "Yeah, Cole. I… think I remember."

Cole stared down at her uncertainly. "I hope the paperwork doesn't take as long this time as it did with Jess," he whispered to no one in particular. He did not think that Mel could afford to wait very long.

The desk nurse took one look at Mel, her skin alabaster-white except for the red splotches that covered it, her eyes refusing to track properly, and her body trembling in Cole's arms in spite of a heavy quilt and pajamas, and reached the same conclusion as he had. After that, things moved too quickly for the Cirronian to keep up with what was happening. There was a quick check of her vitals, a short physical exam, and several questions directed at Cole about her behaviors over the past few days. Cole mentioned that Isabel was out sick because they asked if she had been around any sick people lately. When he told them where Isabel went to school, Mel was moved from the ER to a private room and then on to the ICU, all in a matter of minutes. 

When he asked to be allowed to stay with her, they started asking him question about his own contact with Mel over the past several days. Some of the questions were just confusing and he could not see what they had to do with anything, like had they shared a glass or silverware in the past several days. Others were of a much more personal nature, like whether she had kissed or slept with anybody recently. Cole had been annoyed by those invasions of Mel's privacy, but had answered as well as he could, guessing that they were important for some reason he simply could not understand. 

When they were done with their questions, he again asked if he could see her. They had refused, something about Mel being contagious. Which at least explained their questions, Cole thought, but he _needed_ to see Mel, to assure himself that she was well and would be all right. He tried to convince them that it was very important, but they flatly refused to allow him access to Mel or to answer any of his questions about her condition. Finally retreating in confusion, Cole had followed the only course he could think of and called Jess, telling her what had happened.

"Cole, there you are!" Jess called, running up to him in the waiting room. "Are you okay? Is Mel okay?"

"I don't know. They won't tell me anything, Jess, but I think she must be very sick." He shook his head in obvious distress. "They won't let me see her, Jess, and they won't tell me what's wrong with her, either." 

"Well of course they won't, Cole," Jess told him gently, patting his arm. "They'll only tell that sort of thing to family."

"But… I do not think that Mel _has_ any family, Jess."

"No, she doesn't, not any more," Jess told him. She smiled slyly. "Except us, of course."

"But you said that if we are not related by blood, they will not tell us anything."

Jess shook her head at his lack of understanding. Of course, Cole was like that as a general rule and being upset was probably not helping matters. "Sit, Cole," she directed. When he had, she sat down next to him and took his hand. "Look, you and I both know that we are as close to family as Mel has, yeah?"

He nodded. "Yes, Jess."

"Right, so what we're going to do to get them to talk to us is to tell them that _you_ are Mel's husband."

Cole blinked. "Lie to them?" he asked uncertainly.

Jess nodded. "Yeah, Cole. Because that is probably the _only_ way they are going to let us into the ICU."

Cole considered. Lying was wrong, pure and simple. Everyone knew that. Still… Mel was _like_ a wife to him in many ways. Every way but one, he sometimes thought. So was it really a lie at all, since it was not really false, either? "It's a good plan, Jess."

She nodded again and patted his arm gently. "Don't you worry, Cole. You just let me do the talking, okay?"

Cole smiled gratefully, nodding. "Yes, Jess. Thank you, Jess."

"Yeah." She gave him a quick hug. "It's going to be okay, Cole. I promise. Come on."

He nodded and rose, following her to the desk.

Jess cleared her throat and squared her shoulders as she approached the desk. "Excuse me," she said to a nurse. "Look, my sister-in-law was admitted here a couple hours ago and no one will tell my brother a _bloody_ thing about her condition!" she announced, not having to feign the indignation she felt over _anyone_ making poor Cole as upset as he obviously was.

The nurse blinked in obvious surprise. "Um, who's the doctor on the case?" Cole quietly provided the doctor's name and Mel's. "Okay. If you want to have a seat, I'll find out what's going on. I'm sure there's just been some misunderstanding somewhere down the line."

"Thank you," Jess said sincerely.

Cole nodded his agreement. "Yes. Thank you." He allowed Jess to steer him back to the chairs. "Jess, how will I explain that I did not tell them that I was married to Mel before?"

Jess took in Cole, and the blank look he was giving her, and smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry about it, Cole. It's not a problem."

He nodded. "Okay, Jess." He gave her a weak smile, not entirely sure if she was right, but grateful for the assurance anyway. "Thank you, Jess."

The doctor arrived a few minutes later, starting out apologetic, then frowning suspiciously. "Why didn't you mention that she was your wife when you brought her in?" he asked Cole.  
Cole's brow creased in concentration as he tried to come up with some explanation.

Jess jumped to her feet and grabbed the doctor by the arm, hauling him a few feet away. "Yeah, about that… my big brother… well, he is _not_ exactly the brightest crayon in the box if you didn't notice." Jess gave an expressive shrug and nodded discretely towards Cole who was watching them in obvious confusion. Jess was pleased by this reaction, feeling that his blank look leant credence to her explanation. "When he's upset, he doesn't always… _think_ like he should, you know?"

The doctor nodded his understanding. "Of course. I'm sorry."

"Hey, honest mistake, yeah?" 

He nodded slowly, then his frown returned. "He said that she hasn't slept with anyone in the past week. In fact, I believe his exact words were 'Mel usually sleeps alone'." He regarded Jess suspiciously.

Jess managed not to cringe at that. Barely. Time to think on her feet. "Yeah. Well, they have _not_ really been on the best of terms lately. He's sleeping in the guest-room. It's… you know, they're working on patching things up, but it's hard. They're taking it slow. Sometimes he joins her, you know, but Mel _does_ usually sleep alone. Cole's very literal… It's part of his… well, you know."

"I see." The doctor shrugged. He had too much work to do to spend much time on one patient's domestic situation. Several dozen meningitis-inflicted college students added to his regular workload was not helping matters. He was just grateful that he could trace the Porter woman back to one of them. The CDC would have pitched a fit if the latest case of meningitis in the current outbreak had _not_ been linkable back to the others.

Offering up a silent prayer of thanks to whatever deity had allowed her to pull _that_ off, she led him back to where Cole was sitting. "Cole, sweetie. It's all cleared up, now. Just… you know, you really _do_ need to remember to tell people these things. Now, I know you were upset, _but_…" She gave him a meaningful look, willing him to just play along.

Cole nodded slowly. "Yes, Jess. I'm sorry, Jess. I understand now."

"Good." Jess nodded and looked at the doctor. He was clearly quite thoroughly convinced that Cole was not exactly all there. If Jess had not spent so much time around Cole, she would have thought it either brilliant acting on his part or genuine cluelessness. Cole was incredibly smart, in spite of his mannerisms. Anyone who spent any length of time with him knew that. The doctor, however, had no reason to suspect any such thing. "So, how _is_ my sister-in-law?"  she asked the doctor. "Cole's been beside himself."

"How can a person be beside himself, Jess?" Cole whispered in obvious confusion.

"Forget it, Cole," Jess murmured, shaking her head. Well, if the doctor had not been sold before, he certainly would be now, she decided. "How is Mel?"

"She's suffering from acute bacterial meningitis, complicated by septicemia, blood poisoning ."

"Oh, bloody hell!" Jess gasped, grabbing Cole's arm.

"Is this a serious condition, Jess?" Cole asked uncertainly, looking down at her. He covered the hand on his arm with one of his own hands, wanting to comfort the clearly upset girl.

Jess bit her lower lip and nodded. "Damned serious, Cole." She was, somehow, not in the least surprised that Cole made absolutely no effort to conceal the fact that he was crying. It seemed fitting from Mel's strange, gentle roommate. Somehow, it seemed to add to her perception of him as masculine instead of detracting from it. "Is she going to be okay?" Jess asked the doctor quietly.

"It's still too early to tell for sure, but the prognosis is grim."

Jess looked as if she had just been punched in the stomach. She _felt_ worse. The composure she had managed to keep up until that point shattered in a heartbeat. A strangled gasp was followed by a low moan and then tears.

Cole understood exactly what Jess was going through. He felt as though someone had shoved a knife into his gut and begun twisting it. If he had not already been weeping, he would have started then and there. He did not focus on his own pain for long, though, not with Jess suffering beside him.

He wordlessly gathered the sobbing girl into his arms, his tears mingling with hers as she turned her face up to give him a grateful look. He could feel her distress, of a different character but no less powerful than his own. Jess loved Mel every bit as much as he did. When she called herself Mel's sister, it was no different than it had been when Cole had professed to be her husband. Not literally accurate, it was _still_ the absolute truth. Holding Jess against him with one hand, he reached down with the other and gently caressed her throat, releasing soothing energy into her body, doing what he could to calm her fears.

"We must see Mel now," he told the doctor firmly, still holding Jess and lightly touching her throat. "Mel should be with the people who love her at a time like this. Jess and I _both_ need to be with Mel right now," he insisted.

"Okay, well first we need to get both of you under treatment," the doctor informed them firmly.

'Treatment' involved nothing more than a handful of pills and was quickly accomplished. More pills were given to each of them to take later, and the doctor was quite insistent that they finish them all. Both were questioned about their physical health after the pills had been given over. Everything was fine until Jess reluctantly confessed to having a slight headache. 

At that point, she was hustled off into a side room by a pack of doctors and nurses. Cole held the trembling girl's hand as they vanished, enjoining them not to move.

"You're going to be fine, Jess," he promised her gently. Her life-force was strong, not like Mel's had been. She would be fine. He would not lose them both, _could_ not.

"I'm scared, Cole," she admitted quietly, shaking her head. "Oh, bloody hell… I don't want them to do this."

Cole began stroking her throat lightly. One of the nurses had mentioned something called a 'lumbar puncture' but he was not entirely sure what such a procedure entailed. Until two nurses and a doctor returned to the room and one unwrapped a large needle. Jess went pale and Cole was sure that he had done the same.

"You can _not_ put that into Jess," he told the doctor firmly, horrified.

"Mister Hauser…" he began.

"It will hurt her," he protested. "She's scared, you can't," he added, holding Jess' hand and caressing her throat. Having seen the needle, she was shaking worse than before.

The doctor regarded him thoughtfully for a moment before speaking gently. "She may have a very serious disease. If we can catch it early, we can keep her from ending up like her sister."

That was all Cole needed to hear. "May I stay with her?"

"Sure you can." The doctor nodded. "You can hold her hands if you want. That can make it a _lot _easier." 

Cole nodded and offered Jess his hands. "Close your eyes," he told the girl gently as the doctor rubbed iodine onto her back.

Jess did as directed, closing her eyes and shaking. "Cole," she whispered, squeezing his hands and biting back tears. 

He rested his forehead against hers and whispered tenderly. "Think of the most beautiful place you've ever been," he suggested gently.

Jess whimpered as the needle was inserted, and Cole immediately released her hands and moved his own to her shoulders, caressing her throat with his fingertips even as he held her still. He murmured soothingly in Cirronian, releasing soothing energy into her throat. Jess submitted to both the test and Cole's ministrations without protest, not fully aware of all that Cole was doing to help. She rested her forehead on his shoulder and whimpered once as the needle was removed.

"Very good, Jess," Cole told her, caressing her throat and holding her close. "You were very brave, sweetheart," he told her, using a term that he knew humans sometimes used for their offspring.

"You were, Miss Hauser," a nurse agreed, patting her shoulder gently. "You just stay put and we'll get this cultured."

"When can we see Mel?" Cole asked the nurse.

"Just as soon as we know about Jess here," the nurse promised him.

Cole nodded and returned the rest of his attention to the quietly crying girl, holding her against him and murmuring in Cirronian as he caressed her throat and face as he might have with his own daughter.

"You're going to be fine, Jess," he promised her again. She was shaking badly and clearly distressed in spite of the fact that she no longer seemed to be in any pain. Cole simply continued holding her and caressing her until a nurse returned and announced that Jess was perfectly healthy.

Finally, they were led into the ICU. Like all the worst cases, Mel had her own room, and both Cole and Jess had to don masks and gloves before they were allowed to go in to see her. His first look at Mel convinced Cole that it had probably not been wise to allow Jess to come in and see her. Mel was horribly pale and as still as death, her tiny form covered with tubes and wires, red splotches covering her skin. One look at the expression marring the young Englishwoman's pretty face reaffirmed Cole's conclusion.

"Jess," he whispered, reaching out and stroking her throat again. "Are you okay?"

"I don't think I can do this, Cole," Jess whispered, shaking her head and backing away from the unconscious woman. "I… I'm sorry, but…"

Fear and pain were pouring off of the girl in great, rolling waves. The force of those emotions was enough to bring fresh tears to the Cirronian's eyes. Instead of worrying about his tears, though, he turned his attention to Jess.

Stepping between Jess and her view of Mel, he kept his voice low and soothing. "It's okay, Jess. Seeing Mel like this is not easy. I understand that." He gave her a tender smile and focused all of his attention on reassuring Jess instead of worrying about Mel.

"I… I'm sorry, Cole. I just can't."

"It's okay, Jess," he gently reassured her. "Go wait outside if you need to. I need to spend a minute with Mel, and then I'll bring you home."

"Oh, that's okay, Cole. I can--"

"You should not drive when you are this upset," he told her gently. "I will bring you home, Jess."

"Yeah. Thanks." Jess nodded weakly. "Bloody hell, though… look at her, Cole!" she groaned, fresh tears in her eyes.

"I know, Jess." Cole touched her throat lightly, releasing as much soothing energy as he could summon up. "Wait outside. I'll only be a minute."

Jess nodded weakly and retreated. 

Cole drew a deep breath and turned his gaze to Mel. So much medical equipment, and all so _invasive_… He shook his head and slowly approached her, feeling strangely detached. He could hardly believe that any of this was real. Mel was strong, healthy, not someone to be laid low in an instant by some _microbe_. It made no sense. It was unfair, wrong.

Not yet able to look at Mel, his eyes moved slowly around the room, taking in every detail. Several IV bags were piggybacked and hanging on a rack over her bed, their contents slowly draining into her body via a tube inserted into her forearm, the speed regulated by a machine of some sort. He quickly read the writing on those bags. Some, like saline, he recognized, but he had not heard of most of the others. There were tubes and wires everywhere, a machine to help her breathe, one to monitor her vital signs, and others that he could not begin to understand. Too many tubes and wires…

Resigning himself to the inevitable, he looked down at Mel. She was so pale, her skin the color of the pearls she sometimes wore when she dressed up. Livid red splotches bore witness to the blood poisoning the doctor had spoken of. Cole did not need to have studied that condition to know how serious it was. That name said it all. _Blood poisoning_. Mel, _his Mel_, was being poisoned by her own blood. Tears in his eyes, he reached down and brushed gloved fingers across her cheek.

"Don't leave me, Mel, okay?" he whispered desperately. "I was just getting used to not being alone. Don't leave me alone again, please." No response, none at all. He whimpered quietly and moved his hand to her throat, examining her life-force. So weak, so turbulent. He could feel it all, all the pain and fear that she was suffering in spite of her unconscious state. Loneliness, too. That was the hardest for him, only amplifying his own sense of being completely and utterly alone in the universe. He shook his head, not wanting to accept it, any of it. Not that he had any choice. "Mel," he whispered, caressing her throat. "I need to go bring Jess home now. But as soon as I bring her home and put her to bed, I'll come back to you. And you won't be alone. I won't leave you. I promise. When I come back, I will stay with you until you are well." Giving her throat a final caress, he left her, weeping.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2  **

They spent the drive to Jess' apartment in silence, each absorbed in their own thoughts. Jess felt herself the worst kind of coward for not having made herself stay in the hospital room and she was so busy mentally berating herself for that that she did not notice that they had arrived at her building until Cole gently touched her shoulder. She was not particularly surprised when Cole had accompanied her wordlessly to her door and invited himself in. She was, however, _very_ surprised when he told her why he had done so.

"You want to tuck me in?" she asked, staring at him and wondering if grief over Mel had not already driven him mad.

"I didn't say that, Jess," Cole pointed out reasonably. "I said that I wanted to make sure you got to sleep okay."

She shook her head. "Cole, I _can_ put myself to bed. I'm a big girl."

Cole frowned in confusion. "Jess, you are a _woman_, not a girl. And you are _not_ big. Your frame is quite small, actually."

Jess blinked. Only Cole. "You know what, fine. You want to tuck me in and sing me a bloody lullaby, you just go right ahead."

He nodded. "Thank you, Jess. You should change now. I'll wait here until you are done."

Jess shook her head and retreated to her bedroom. Again, only Cole. _Vulcans_ were less literal than that guy. Not that she was anything other than grateful for his concern, but it was still a strange sort of request. Of course, Cole was a strange sort of man. Shrugging to herself, she pulled on an over-long tee shirt and returned to the living room. Cole was waiting, along with a glass of warm milk, which he pressed into her hands.

"Sometimes warm milk helps Mel when she can not sleep," he explained to her.

She stared down at it. "Thank you, Cole," she said softly, giving him a grateful smile. "Thanks for driving me home, too. I think you were right," she added, sitting on the couch and sipping the milk. "I'm _way_ too upset to get behind the wheel of a car."

He nodded his understanding and sat down next to her. "Jess, may I ask you a very personal question?" he requested gently.

She blinked but nodded. She was relatively sure that his question was more likely to relate back to Mel than to Jess herself, a 'how would Mel react if I did _this_' sort of question. Cole was like that. He looked at Mel like she was some kind of goddess and virtually looked _through_ every other woman on the planet. Jess herself was one of the few women he did not more or less ignore, but she had always gotten a strongly paternal vibe from Cole when he was with her. Although he _treated_ her like an adult, she had long suspected that he _saw_ her as a child. 

"Sure, Cole. Shoot."

Cole turned on the couch until he was facing the young woman. He could still feel her distress and her _guilt_ over that distress. He regarded her thoughtfully for a few moments, then asked gently, "Jess, who did you lose?"

She blinked and gaped at him, first trying to make sense of the question and then trying to understand what had prompted it. Failing both, she shook her head and said, "I don't follow you, Cole. What do you mean?" 

Cole considered for a moment before speaking. "You lost someone close to you, Jess. That is why you are so upset now. When you saw Mel like that in the hospital, you were reminded of that person. Who was it, Jess?"

She stared at him, her mouth hanging open. _Not the brightest crayon in the box my bum!_ She considered not answering, then shrugged. "My mum, Cole. My mother."

Cole nodded his understanding. "I'm sorry, Jess," he told her gently.

She sighed and nodded. Not sure why, she told Cole something about herself that she had never told _anyone_ before, not even Mel or her grandmother. "I was fifteen and she was just my best friend in the world. She… she didn't go quickly, either, Cole. She spent months suffering in that ruddy hospital just _sure_ that they were going to make her all better. They had her hooked up to all these machines and monitors and gave her all these drugs and treatments but in the end not one of them did her any good…" 

Jess took a deep breath and a long sip of the warm milk before she continued. "I was there with her every day right up to the end. I watched my own mum turn into this shadow of who she had been. She had always been so full of life and so happy all the time and the cancer and the treatments… they just slowly drained all that out of her. I… I hate hospitals because of that, Cole. I can't stand them. Don't much like doctors, either, quite honestly. I mean… I've made _some_ progress in that. I'll go to a doctor if I'm really sick, but…" She shook her head.

"Seeing Mel like that brought it all back?" Cole nodded and gently touched her forehead. "I understand, Jess."

"You ever lose anyone close?" she asked quietly. She winced at the pained expression the question provoked and opened her mouth to retract her query and assure him that he did not have to answer if he would rather not. He replied before she could get the words out.

"About ten years ago, my wife and daughter were murdered," he told her softly.

She stared at him in shock. She had not known that he had once been married, let alone that she had died. A daughter, too… It explained the quiet pain that she sometimes saw in his eyes. 

"Cole, I'm so sorry."

"Everybody has events in their past that are painful, Jess," Cole told her gently. "And they can affect you for the rest of your life. There's no shame in it, Jess. You don't like hospitals. I don't like the idea of anything ever happening to Mel."

"She reminds you of your wife, then?"

Cole shook his head. "Nallia was very different from the way Mel is. They were both very kind and compassionate but the similarities end there. Mel is different, a fighter. Nallia was very quiet and… accommodating, a peacemaker, Jess. Mel would take on the universe single-handed for what she believes in." He allowed himself a faint smile as he added honestly, "And I think she would win, too."

Jess nodded. He was right. "You love her, don't you?"

"Nobody who knows Mel could feel anything _but_ love for her," Cole told her gently. "You, me, Vic, Jonas…" He paused and drew a deep breath. "Finish your milk, Jess," he advised her gently. "Then we will get you into bed."

Jess nodded and took another long sip of the warm milk. "We have a fair bit in common, don't we, Cole?" she asked quietly before draining the glass in her hands.

He nodded and rose, gently pulling her to her feet. "We do, Jess. We've both lost people we love. We're both outsiders. And we both love Mel." He steered her towards her bedroom, pleased that she trusted him enough to allow herself to be led. "You must miss your family very much."

Her brother was the only family member she really had left any more, but she nodded as she sat on the edge of her bed. "Yeah, sometimes. You?"

He nodded. "Always. I would give anything to see my sister and her family again." He shrugged and gave a little shake of his head. "But you and Mel are my family now. Lie down, Jess."

His voice brooked no opposition simply because it was clear that he did not expect any to his very reasonable suggestion.

Taking her cue from that, Jess nodded and climbed under the covers. "Cole, it's not my business, and if I'm out of line you don't have to answer, but… you and Mel?" she asked quietly as he arranged the blankets around her.

"Mel sees me as a friend, Jess." He sighed softly. "She may never see me as more."

"Maybe you could help her along?" Jess suggested.

"I wouldn't really know how to," Cole told her honestly, crouching next to the bed as he finished tucking her in.

"Men," Jess muttered, shaking her head.

Cole frowned uncertainly and turned off the lamp next to her bed.

"It's not hard, Cole," Jess told him gently, shaking her head at his obvious cluelessness. "You _show_ her how you feel."

"How?"

"You treat her the way any man treats a woman he cares about." With any other man, it would have been time to add the obligatory 'you hurt her and I will hunt you down and kill you' lecture, but with _Cole_ she knew that it simply was not necessary.

Cole nodded slowly. "I think you might be right, Jess. Sleep now."

"Easier said than done, Cole. I don't think I'll be able to get much sleep."

"You will. Just close your eyes," he directed gently.

"Okay, Cole, but I'm not sure it'll work," Jess told him as she did as requested.

"It will, Jess," Cole promised, moving his hand in front of her face. 

A subtle, soothing energy quickly but gently eased her into a deep, refreshing, and dreamless sleep. For tonight, at least, there would be no dreams or doubts. He suspected that Jess needed that badly. He wished the same for himself.

***

"They say I can go home in a few days," Isabel Carter told Jess quietly. 

The college student tended bar part-time at the Watchfire. Two days ago, she had been admitted to the hospital with meningitis. An outbreak on her campus had been behind her own infection, and she had managed to infect Mel between the time she had contracted the disease and the time she had been admitted to the hospital. She had not recalled it when she had been admitted, but the news that Mel was sick had done wonders for her memory. It had been a few hours before she had started showing symptoms and collapsed during her class. Isabel had been showing Mel how to mix a new drink, one she had come up with herself quite by accident recently. 

A lifelong army brat, Isabel had dubbed the drink a 'daisy cutter' because you never saw it coming until it knocked you on your butt. They had been laughing and talking as Isabel mixed the drink and in spite of a minor headache, the outbreak on campus had been the last thing on Isabel's mind. Taking a sip, she had declared the drink perfect and passed it to Mel, who had sampled it and declared that it actually _was_ pretty good. Drinking from the same glass was such an innocuous thing, the sort of thing a person could do a dozen times a day without thinking about. Until the one time that counted.

"Is Miss Porter going to be all right?" Isabel asked softly, feeling horrible. 

It had been _so_ stupid of her to ignore that nagging headache, but what college student did not have one occasionally. She had not felt _sick_ so she had not thought anything of it at the time. She had completely spaced until finding out that Mel was sick.

"We really don't know yet," Jess told her, sighing and doing her best not to look around the hospital room. 

Everyone who worked at the Watchfire was now being treated with prophylactic antibiotics. Isabel and Mel were the only two people showing symptoms, though. They had been the only two around to sample Isabel's creation. 

"I feel so awful about this, Jess…"

"Hey, it wasn't your fault, Isabel!" Jess gave her a reassuring smile. "There is absolutely no reasonable way that anyone could have foreseen this. You just focus on getting better, okay?"

Isabel nodded weakly. "They said it could take awhile. I'm so tired."

"Get some rest. I'll come by again later." Jess smiled gently at her friend.

"Thanks, Jess. Give my love to Mister Hauser."

"Will do, Isabel. You take care, sweetie."

"You, too, Jess." Isabel smiled and waved as Jess left, closing her eyes to get some more rest once she was gone. 

"Oh, there you are, Jess," Vic greeted her as she emerged into the hall.

Jess had debated whether or not to tell Vic about Mel's condition, wondering if Cole would want her to or not. Thinking about it, though, she realized that Cole probably _would_ have wanted Vic to know. It might not have occurred to Cole to call Vic himself, but Cole would have wanted everyone who Mel cared about to be aware of what was going on with her. She was amazed by how clearheaded she felt and grateful to Cole for his role in it, even if she did not realize the full extent of that involvement. 

Vic had been understandably upset when Jess had told him of Mel's illness. He had _bristled_ at Jess when she told him that Cole was pretending to be Mel's husband, until Jess had informed him that it was the only way they had been able to find out anything. He had accepted it, but clearly was not happy with that state of affairs. Jess was not blind. She knew Vic was incredibly jealous of Cole and had been for some time now. Jealous or not, though, Vic could sympathize with Cole's distress over Mel. He promised not to disabuse anyone of the notion that Cole was Mel's husband and Jess was Cole's sister. Not, Jess reflected, that he would have had much luck doing so at this point. Cole had been a busy boy last night after dropping her off. She now had a driver's license in the name of Jessica Hauser, and Cole had a marriage-certificate for himself and Mel. Jess was not even going to _ask_.

Vic was surprised when Jess declined to go into Mel's room with him, but did not comment or push the issue. The younger woman was obviously badly shaken. From what Vic understood from her explanation, she had every right to be. After he had put on gloves and a mask, he walked into Mel's room. He was surprised to find Cole sitting next to the bed, holding Mel's hand in his own, gloved ones. _Singing_. Cole was quietly singing to the unconscious woman. Vic hesitated, strangely reluctant to intrude. Somehow, his animosity towards Cole seemed to have no place in this room. It was not that he was any less jealous of Cole, simply that they suddenly had one very important thing in common. For the time being, they were in exactly the same boat.

Cole finished his song and then rose. "Hello, Vic. Is Jess with you?"

"She's outside."

Cole nodded, not seeming surprised that Jess had opted not to join them. Vic wondered but was too concerned about Mel to give it _much_ thought.

"I, um… heard you singing to her," the Detective began, not sure exactly what to say or do in circumstances like these.

"I thought she might like it. Mel likes listening to music," he explained simply. 

Vic knew that Cole was right. Mel enjoyed music a lot. It was a sweet thought on Cole's part. "You been here all night?"

"No. I took Jess home and stayed with her for a few minutes and then I had to get some things from home before I came back here."

An hour tops, Vic guessed. "But other than that?"

Cole nodded. "Yes, Vic. I did not want Mel to be lonely. She should not be alone, Vic."

Vic nodded, appreciating the sentiment. "Look, if you need to get some sleep, I can take the day off and sit with Mel," he offered.

Cole shook his head. "If you wish to stay with Mel, Vic, of course you can. But unless Jess needs me, I will be staying with Mel."

Vic nodded again. Nothing had changed in the way he felt about Cole, but he had to respect the way Cole was handling the situation. His concern for Mel was very much at the forefront, but he was not neglecting Jess' needs, either. The human Detective had to respect that. Cole was many things but he was, at bottom, a good man who cared about the people around him.

"Cole, would you… um, I mean…" Vic hesitated, not sure how to phrase his request or how Cole would react to it. He knew that he would not have been happy to be on the receiving end of such a request.

Cole considered him in silence for a moment. "You wish to be alone with Mel?" he ventured.

Vic nodded cautiously. "Yeah. I kind of could use a few minutes alone with her."

Cole nodded. "I understand, Vic. I will be with Jess if you need anything." Nodding to Vic, he gave Mel's hand a gentle squeeze before returning it to her chest and moving to leave.

"Jess said she would be in the Chapel," Vic offered.

Cole smiled. "Thank you, Vic."

"Yeah, man. Take care."

"You, too, Vic." Cole regarded him for another moment, not entirely surprised by how worried the human was. Mel had _many_ people who loved her very much. In spite of the fact that they were no longer in courtship, Vic was one of them. And he was in obvious pain. "You do not need to worry so much, Vic. Mel is a strong woman, a fighter. She will be fine."

Vic blinked, startled both by the quiet reassurance and by the conviction in Cole's voice. "Thanks, Cole."

"You're welcome, Vic." Cole gave him an encouraging smile and left the room, intent on finding Jess. 

Vic stared after him for a few moments, then sighed and turned his attention to Mel. She was unconscious, which seemed merciful given how much pain she would have been in if she had been awake. Still, merciful or not, it worried Vic a lot. The longer she was unconscious, the more serious her illness and the lower her chances of a complete recovery. Vic could not bring himself to think of anything other than the odds of a complete recovery. The truth was that almost 15% of men and women who contracted meningitis never recovered at all. Vic knew that rationally, he simply could not bring himself to consider it with Mel. Cole had been right, after all. Mel was strong, a fighter. It was going to take more than some disease to bring her down, he told himself firmly.

He looked down at the gloves on his hands, then back at Mel. Mel, his Mel. He knew that their relationship was over. Part of him even accepted that it always would be, but it did not change the fact that he loved her. If he had heard Cole's statement to Jess the night before, that no one could know Mel and _not_ love her, he would have agreed wholeheartedly. She was not like any other woman he had ever known, special even though she did not seem to realize it herself.

The room was almost silent, except for his own breathing and the sounds of the machines Mel was hooked up to. He hated those sounds. The occasional clicking of the machine regulating the IV drip, the hiss and wheeze of the machine helping her to breathe, and the slow, steady beeping of the monitors. Approaching her, he gently smoothed her hair out of her face. In spite of the gloves, he could feel that her skin was hot, even for Mel. She had always had a higher than average temperature, but she was far warmer now as her body struggled against twin infections. The temperature alone was dangerous, even before the meningitis and septicemia were taken into account. 

Vic shook his head and sat down in the chair that Cole had vacated. He bowed his head and clasped his hands in front of his face, shaking his head and rocking back and forth on the chair. He meant to pray, he really did, but he could not immediately frame any sort of coherent appeal. His mind was a swirling maelstrom of doubt and fear and confusion. Finally, it came to him, a prayer short and sincere.

"You can't take her from us," he whispered painfully. "You just can't. She has so much left to look forward to, so much more to accomplish. Send her back to us. Give her the chance she deserves."

Shaking, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a beaded string. Like many cops, Vic was not particularly religious in the accepted sense of the word. A lapsed Catholic, he still believed very strongly in the doctrines of the Faith he had been brought up in, but he did not attend church regularly, and he seldom expected God or the Saints to intervene in daily life. They were distant rather than immediate. They watched over people, and suffered when they did, but they seldom interfered. God had given him his brains and his abilities, and Vic figured that, beyond that, he was pretty much on his own. That had not, however, stopped him from picking up a simple rosary on his way to the hospital. If _ever_ prayer had been called for in quantity, now was that time.

Fingering the crucifix, he began quietly. "I believe in God, the father Almighty, creator of heaven and earth…"


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 **

The Chapel was conveniently near the ICU and well-marked, so Cole had no trouble finding it. Jess was alone inside the large room, kneeling in a pew with her head bowed and her hands clasped in front of her face. Cole silently entered the room and waited, not wishing to disturb her when she seemed to be praying. He looked curiously around the room as Jess prayed. It was his first time inside of a human place of worship. 

Mel had explained some of the rudiments of a religion called Christianity to him, explaining that is was probably the most commonly followed religion in the country, but that there were many others as well and Christianity itself was divided into many sub-groups. Cole could not recall who had been more confused by the end of the conversation, himself trying to make sense of an alien creed or Mel barraged with questions from him as he tried to make sense of the tenets of the faith.

From Mel's explanation, he recognized many of the trappings. A cross, the symbol of the faith. Several copies of a book called the Bible which the religion was based on. An altar where religious services were performed. Pictures with what he assumed to be religious themes. A gentle-looking man with a beard and dressed in a white robe was a recurrent figure. Mel had told Cole about him as well. Jesus, the religion's prophet and savior. Cole smiled as he examined one of the pictures. It was obscurely calming. He would have liked to know this man.

"Oh, Cole," Jess' soft voice interrupted his reverie. "How long have you been here?"

"Not very long, Jess," he told her with a gentle smile, moving to sit next to her. "Vic wanted some time alone with Mel and I wanted to see how you are doing."

She gave a little shrug. "I honestly don't know, Cole. I feel awful about not going to see Mel…"

He gently slid one arm around her shoulder in the accepted human gesture of comfort. "How is Isabel, Jess? Have you talked to her?"

"Yeah, just a few minutes ago." Jess nodded and leaned into him, resting her head against his shoulder, grateful for the gesture. Cole was not, as a rule, a physically demonstrative man. "She's a lot better already. Responding really well to the antibiotics."

Cole smiled brightly. "That means that Mel will as well, doesn't it, Jess?"

"Not necessarily, Cole," she sighed. "People are different and I guess it's never really the same with a disease like this."

Cole nodded, absorbing this, and wrapped his other arm around Jess as well. "Don't worry, Jess. Mel is a strong woman. She'll be fine. I know she will."

Jess sighed and edged a little closer, leaning into the embrace. 

"Is Mel a religious woman, Jess?" he asked quietly.

She shook her head. "Not really, Cole. I mean, she used to kind of be, but I don't think she's been inside a church once since her grandmother died."

"Like you?" he asked, his voice gentle.

Jess blinked. After his guess about her mum last night, she was not even going to bother being surprised that he knew that she had not been inside a church since her death. "Yeah, Cole, _just_ like me." She shook her head. "Guess it's selfish of me to find religion at a time like this…"

"It is _not_ selfish, Jess," Cole assured her, holding her close. "It's natural. At times like these, we _need_ our faith, not because we expect favors from our gods, but because we need to understand that we are not alone."

She glanced up at him, thoughtful. "How'd you get so wise, Cole?"

"I am _not_ a young man, Jess," he pointed out gently. "I have experienced a life-time. When you are my age, people your age will think of you as wise, too."

"Yeah." Jess sighed and nodded, resting her cheek against his shoulder. "It's sometimes easy to forget that you're old enough that you could be my father."

Cole smiled faintly. He knew that Jess did not think he was particularly bright. It was an understandable assumption. But she was right about one thing. Although his daughter would still be a teenager by human standards, if he had married at the age at which many Cirronians did, he could easily have had children her age or even a few years older. Thinking carefully of how humans kept track of age, he realized that he could quite easily have had a child older than Mel if he had not waited so long to marry. Amazing. It made him wonder where the years had gone. It made him feel old, tired.

"Mel was… _is_ a Christian, Jess?" he asked.

"Well, _yeah_." Jess nodded and looked up at him again. "Why?"

"I was just wondering which gods to address my prayers for her recovery to," he explained absently.

Jess blinked and stared up at him. "Um… which ones do you… _typically_ pray to, Cole?" she asked quietly.

Aware that the names would mean nothing to her, Cole tried to explain, "A feminine originating life-force and a masculine one, Jess." He shrugged. "And such others as the occasion requires. Today, to Mel's." Smiling at her, he slid to his knees and closed his eyes, holding his hands parallel to each other a few inches in front of his chest so that they did not touch.

Jess frowned. "Cole, wouldn't it be better to pray to… well, to whomever you normally pray to?"

Cole opened his eyes and frowned up at her, shaking his head. "I think it is best to pray to the deities that watch over Mel. Mine may not be aware of her."

She shook her head. "Just the one, Cole. Mel just looks to the one."

Cole frowned. "I don't understand, Jess. There is the one she calls God and also the one she calls Jesus. Is that not correct?"

Jess blinked. "Well, when you put it like that…" She shook her head. "_No_. They're one in the same, Cole. Just… different aspects."

"Oh." He nodded his understanding. "Thank you, Jess." Smiling up at her for a moment, he closed his eyes again and resumed his interrupted prayer.

Jess watched curiously as Cole began quietly chanting in a foreign language. She knew, of course, that English was not his first language, but she was surprised all the same. She would never have suspected Cole capable of producing those beautiful, fluid, breathy sounds. The words 'Melanie Irene Porter' were distinguishable more than once, but nothing else. The other words seemed to meld and flow into each other, almost like a living entity in her mind, as if Cole was just a conduit for them, channeling or speaking in tongues. Except that he clearly was not. She could see the concentration on his face and could tell that he was choosing his words with meticulous care in spite of the seemingly effortless way he was producing the sounds. She watched and listened, entranced and strangely calmed.

Cole tuned out the young woman's presence, his entire attention focused on framing an appropriately eloquent appeal to Mel's God. He had chosen Cirronian because his English was still lacking and he wanted to miss nothing. He enlarged on everything about Mel that made her worthy of another day of living. Her strength and bravery and quiet compassion. Her understanding and insightful nature. Her warrior's spirit and desire to help those around her. The men and women who loved her, whose lives her existence had touched. How this world would be a little colder and a little darker without her in it. When he had finished his appeal in Cirronian, he abandoned his native tongue in favor of her own.

"Guard your daughter, Melanie Irene Porter, from harm. Now and forever," he finished simply. 

"That was really beautiful, Cole," Jess told him gently, squeezing his shoulder.

"I hope it was appropriate," he said, returning to a seat.

"My mum always used to say that, with prayer, it doesn't matter much about the words you use. What matters is that it comes from the heart."

He nodded. "It came from my heart and my soul," he told her quietly.

"Then it was appropriate." Jess smiled weakly at him, sighing. Shaking her head, she leaned into his arm again. "Damn it, Cole, what are we going to do?" she whispered, her eyes swimming with tears.

He closed his eyes, wrapping his arms the young woman. "I don't know," he whispered, cradling her against his chest.

"She can't die, Cole. She just can't!" Jess groaned, crying.

He gently hushed the distraught woman, rocking her. He ignored his own tears, focused on hers. "Mel is a strong woman, Jess, a fighter. You must have faith."

"Bugger faith!" Jess snapped, shaking her head violently and pulling away. "Fat lot of good _faith_ did me and my mum when she was in one of these places getting the life drained out of her!"

"I know, I know," he whispered, gathering her back into his arms and holding her against his chest, ignoring her attempts to pull free. 

She may not have wanted comfort right now, but she needed it. He remembered pushing away Kallissa, one of his closest friends, rebuffing her attempts to comfort him after he had found the bodies of Nallia and Ashi. He had not wanted that comfort, but he _had_ needed it. He remained silent until she stopped trying to pull away, holding her and rocking her and crooning gently as she cried herself out. She lay still against his chest and he continued holding her.

"I never thought I would have faith again, Jess, after Nallia and our daughter were taken from me," he told her gently after several minutes. "I needed it worse in those first days than I ever had in my life, but I refused to allow myself to feel it."

"What changed? What gave you your faith back?" she asked quietly, never taking her face out of his chest.

"Mel."

She looked up at him, startled. "Mel?" she repeated.

He nodded and explained, "Mel gave me back many things that were lacking. Faith, Hope, Joy… she let me feel again, Jess. Just…" He shook his head. "It's hard to explain, Jess, but there was something in her that… filled some void. I'm sorry I can't explain better."

"You don't have to." Jess shook her head and rested her cheek against his chest again, needing that comfort. "I was feeling a lot of the same things when I met Irene, Mel's grandmother. After that, it was like I wasn't alone any more. I mean… I've never been in want of friends, Cole, but at the same time I always felt kind of lonely. Does that make sense?"

"It does, Jess." Cole sighed. "And now your last link to Irene is sick."

"Right." Jess sighed. "And I'm too much of a bloody coward to go see her!" The tears were back, but she did not care one bit. "Just like with Irene…" She shook her head, feeling miserable in body and spirit.

"You couldn't bring yourself to visit Irene either?" Cole asked gently.

"Once. I visited her once, but I… I couldn't go back, Cole." She shook her head, her shoulders sagging. She hated herself right now, worse than she had when Irene had died.

"I understand."

Jess cursed softly, burying her face in his chest. " She was so full of life, Cole. Then she got sick and it was suddenly _gone_…" In her own mind, she was not sure if she was speaking of her mother, Irene Porter, or Mel.

"It's scary, horrifying." Cole nodded his understanding. "When Mel came to my room last night, sick and weak… I was too scared to think straight. She had to _tell_ me to bring her to this place… But she was so weak." He bit his lower lip as he had seen both Mel and Jess do on occasion to fight tears. "She's still weak. I… you aren't alone in your fear, Jess. I feel it, Vic feels it…" He sighed and gently cupped her face in his hand, tenderly forcing her chin up. "There's no shame in what you feel, Jess," he whispered, brushing her hair out of her face. "You must understand that, Jess. Fear is a natural part of being alive. No one is ever entirely free of it."

"Somehow that knowledge isn't make this much easier, Cole," she sighed.

"No. It never does." He shook his head gently. "You feel bad right now because you _want_ to go see Mel, Jess."

"I know. I want to see her, I do. I just _can't_." She shook her head.

"You must try, Jess, or you will continue to feel bad," Cole counseled. He gently caressed her throat. "The only person who can _make_ you do this is you, Jess. I am here for you if you need support, but it is ultimately yours."

"I'm scared, though." She shook her head. "All those memories and…"

"I know. I know you are," he whispered, gathering her into his arms again. He sighed deeply. "There's a wound inside of you, Jess. It's been there for a long time now. Allow it to heal. You're in a hospital. There's no better place for the healing of wounds."

Jess closed her eyes and nodded. "No, guess not."

"Just think about it, Jess." He smiled gently at her. "In the meantime, I think Isabel could probably use some company. I saw her this morning before you came. She's awake and much stronger. She's going to get better, Jess."

"I know. I was in there before I brought Vic up." She nodded. "It was _not_ easy, going in to see her," she admitted.

"It was a _start_, Jess," he told her encouragingly. "It may eventually make the rest easier."

"Yeah, guess so." Jess nodded. "Isabel's a sweetie, you know. And she feels so awful about Mel getting sick."

"She needs comfort," Cole said gently. "She needs to know that she is not alone."

Jess nodded and rose, sighing deeply. "You're right, Cole. If nothing else, it'll take my mind off of things."

Cole smiled up at her, rising as well and walking with her to the door of the chapel. "That, too, Jess. I'll talk to you soon. If you need anything at all, you know where to find me. You don't have to come into the room if you'd rather not. Just send a nurse in to tell me that you require me."

Jess nodded, then quickly hugged him. "Thank you, Cole. For everything."

He nodded, gently returning the hug before releasing her and walking her to Isabel's room. He lingered for a few minutes, greeting Isabel and exchanging a few words before excusing himself and returning to the ICU. Looking through the glass, he saw that Vic was still with Mel. It looked like he was praying, too, so Cole sat in the waiting area, not wishing to disturb him. He looked up as a woman in a suit with dark skin and hair exchanged a few words with a nurse. The woman nodded and looked into Mel's room as she passed it. She bit her lower lip and shook her head, her expression pained. Sighing, she walked to the waiting area and sat down.

"Are you here to see Mel?" Cole asked her quietly. She was faintly familiar but not, he thought, a Watchfire regular. "Detective," he added, noticing the badge clipped to her belt and the shoulder-holster under her jacket.

She looked up at him, shaking her head. "No, I'm here to see Detective Bruno," she told him in a low voice. "He was pretty upset when he heard she was sick. I thought he might need a ride home when he was done with her." She hesitated. "How is she?" 

Cole sighed. "Still unconscious. There is still a chance that she may not recover."

"Shit," she murmured, shaking her head. "I'm… I'm sorry, man."

He nodded an absent acknowledgment of this. "It's good that you are here to bring Vic home," he said finally. "He seemed very upset when we spoke earlier."

"I don't think upset _begins_ to describe it. He's in there praying a fu… a Rosary." Knowing what she knew about her partner, that told her that he was well beyond _very_ upset. She shook her head and gave Cole a wan smile. 

Cole smiled back. He opened his mouth to speak again, when the door to Mel's room opened.

"Hello, Vic," Cole greeted him.

"Cole. Mar?"

"Hey, partner." She rose and approached him slowly. 

"What are you doing here?" Vic asked, surprised by her presence.

"Thought I'd come see how you were handling things," she told him, walking over to him and gently resting one hand on his shoulder. 

"It was nice to meet you," Cole told her, smiling. "Vic, let me know if there's anything you need."  
"Yeah, thanks, Cole." He nodded and watched Cole return to Mel's room.

"_That_ was Cole Hauser?" Maria asked, bemused. "The 'nut job'?"

"Don't start," Vic suggested, shaking his head. "_Not_ in the mood, Mar."

Her smile faded completely, replaced by an apologetic expression. "No, guess you're not. Come on. I'll drive you home. Or we can stop by the Cathedral."

"Saw the Rosary?" he guessed.

"Yeah, my friend, I saw it. Come on. We'll light some candles and pray one together."

"I appreciate it, Mar."

"Hey, that's what friends are for. We might just save your soul yet," she teased.

"Yeah, that'll happen." Vic could not help but be amused by her words. His lapsed Catholicism was something of a running joke with them.

She shook her head, knowing full well that what he lacked in the regularity of his attendance at Mass he more than made up for in raw faith, whether he knew it or not. Cops pretty much had to be, in her experience, either suicidal or faithful. There was not a lot of wiggle-room in a job like theirs. Like many fellow cops, Vic was faithful and spiritual but not dreadfully religious. Maria could understand that, but it did not stop her from teasing him about it. Teasing, though, had a time and a place. If ever Vic had _not_ needed Maria's teasing, now was that time.

"Tell you what," she suggested gently. "We'll light some candles, pray a few Rosaries, and then I'll take you out and get you drunk. How's that sound?"

"That sounds absolutely wonderful, Mar." Vic gave her a grateful nod. "I feel…"

"Like shit. I'll bet." She nodded. "Hang in there, Vicky. Everything you've told me about Melanie… she's a fighter."

"You sound like Cole," Vic muttered bitterly.  
"He calls you Vicky, too, does he?" Maria asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"Mar…"

"Right, sorry. Cathedral, candles, prayers. Alcohol."

"Sounds like a plan," he sighed. "You get to be designated driver today, okay?"

"The things I do for my partner," she muttered, shaking her head. "Just don't expect me to make a habit out of it."

"Mar…" he began hesitantly.

She looked up, a little started by his tone. "Vicky?"

"Thanks for coming. I _really _appreciate it."

She shook her head. "Last time I checked, moral support _was_ a part of the 'friend' job description. You need to _not_ be alone right now. Come on, let's get you out of here."

Vic gave a silent nod, grateful to her. With a sigh, he let her lead him from the hospital.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 **

Cole watched Vic and the other Detective leave before returning to his post at Mel's side. He sat down next to her and took her hand in his again, watching her chest rise and fall for several minutes in silence. She was no stronger than she had been before, but not any weaker either. It was, he supposed, something. At least she did not feel lonely any more.

"Would you like me to sing now, Mel?" he asked finally. 

There seemed to be some uncertainty as to whether or not she was capable of hearing and understanding him, but Cole did not care. She _might_ be able to, which was the only thing that counted. And she could _definitely_ feel his presence. He could tell that by the little shift in her life-force every time he touched her. The nurses had seen him talking and singing to her and had mentioned that many patients seemed to do better with a loved one speaking to them sometimes. It had been all the encouragement he had needed to continue. He probably would have anyway.

"Vic was here," Cole told her. "He was praying something called a Rosary. Jess and I have both prayed, too. Jess hasn't come to see you yet, but she will, Mel. I know she will. She's like you, braver than she sometimes thinks." His gloved hands gently brushed a few stray curls out of her face. "They say that we probably won't have to wear these gloves and masks for much longer when we visit you. I'm glad, Mel. I like touching you. The gloves and this mask feel funny. I don't like them. I don't like… seeing you like this, Mel." He sighed and shook his head. "Should I sing now?" he offered again.

This time, his croonings were in Cirronian. He doubted that Mel would mind. His whole attention was focused on the hand he was holding and on the words pouring out of his mouth, a Cirronian lullaby about tapping your potential to outshine the sun. He had often felt that his Mel outshone the sun, so it seemed appropriate. Except that now she was not shining brightly at all. 

He broke off abruptly after several minutes, tears in his eyes, his shaking voice no longer able to maintain the tune. Gloved hands caressed her face and throat as their Cirronian owner sobbed like a bereft child. He repeated her name, over and over, trying to draw comfort from a word that had always lifted his spirits in the past.

"Mel. Mel, Mel, Mel, Mel, Mel," he murmured, over and over, shaking his head. "Come back to us, please. Please, we need you… Jess needs you. _I_ need you."

He was a little surprised to feel a definite surge in her life-force on the heels of these words, as if a little encouragement was all she had needed.

"Yes," he breathed. "Come back to us, Mel. We need you."

Cole? 

He blinked, sure that he had heard her voice in his mind. That was, of course, impossible. Few _Cirronians_ could have accomplished such a thing. There was not way that a human had. His own hope was making him imagine things that were not there. Shaking it off, he focused on the shift he had felt earlier, and leaned closer to her, his mask touching her ear.

"We need you, Mel. Come back to us," he breathed, certain that he had not imagined this subtle change in her. Her life-force was a little more powerful than it had been just a few moments ago, he was sure. It was a tiny difference, almost imperceptible, but it was something.  "Mel, can you hear me?" he whispered, willing some response from her. No reaction, none at all. "_Please_," he groaned, shaking his head and stroking her throat exactly as he had their second day together, holding her in that field.  

He half-expected to hear her quiet voice, weak. _You're crying…_

Crying because he had cared. Even then, two days into their association, he had cared enough to weep for her, exactly as he was now. She had come to mean a great deal to him in just those few days. Since then, she had become an integral part of his life. She meant so much to him and he needed her so badly. It was not just the help she provided him, either, not even _mostly_ that. It was the comfort and emotional support that she so unhesitatingly bestowed on him. And… no use in denying it to himself any longer, her love. Love pure and without conditions, for the first time in so long.

He felt so helpless, a condition that he had not experienced since Nallia and Ashi had been murdered. Even with Mel in that field, holding her still body in his arms, there had been the hope that his abilities could bring her back. When it had seemed that they would not, grief and not helplessness had replaced hope. Always in the past, in every situation he had ever encountered, there had been some course for him to take, some way to make things right, or at least to _try_. Here, now, there was nothing. Mel's fate was completely in the hands of others and all he could do was sit back and hope for the best. 

"You come back to me," he whispered in a shaky voice. "You have to, okay? I _need_ you… You are like… like the sun. You give me so much light and warmth." He closed his eyes and shook his head, struggling to compose himself. "I can sing some more," he offered. "Would you like me to sing some more now, Mel?" Nodding unsteadily to himself, he resumed his quiet Cirronian singing.

***

Jess was shaking like a leaf as she pulled on her gloves and mask. Visiting hours were nearly over and she had just left Isabel to get some sleep. Now it was time to take the plunge and try to see Mel again.

"You okay, Miss Hauser?" the nurse asked quietly. 

Jess gave an unsteady nod. "Just… I want to see Mel now."

The nurse nodded. "This way." She led Jess to the room. "Your brother's still in there," she told Jess quietly outside. "I don't think he's left once since Detective Bruno went."

"I don't doubt it," Jess said quietly, giving the nurse a smile as she moved off. 

Cole loved Mel so much, probably more than Mel, or even Cole himself, realized. He was completely devoted to her, and she had no doubt that he would not leave her side, even to sleep. After he had helped her last night, she fully intended to return the favor, talking him into getting some rest as well. He _had_ to have needed it, because she knew that he had probably not slept at all the night before. Her shaking hand hovered over the door-knob for a long moment before she squared her shoulders, gritted her teeth, and turned the knob.

Nodding sharply to herself, she opened the door and slid inside. Cole was sitting next to Mel, holding her hand. His cheek was resting on the mattress near her face, his body perfectly still and his eyes closed. The only sign that he was awake was his gentle crooning. She was not sure exactly what he was saying or doing but it sounded a lot like his earlier praying. Not wanting to disturb him, she froze and tried not to make a sound. His eyes popped open immediately anyway.

"You see, Mel?" he whispered before rising and approaching the young Englishwoman. "Jess," he greeted her quietly. "How are you?"

"Figured it was time to come see Mel," she responded quietly, staring fixedly at the paper slippers covering her shoes.

"Look at me, Jess," Cole ordered gently, tenderly catching her chin in one hand and forcing her head up.

Jess stared into his eyes uncertainly. "Cole?"

"How _are_ you?" he repeated more firmly.

"Bloody horrible, Cole," Jess admitted, her shoulders slumping.

She tried to look down only to find that he refused to release his gentle hold on her chin. She stared back into his eyes, relieved by the compassion and understanding that she saw there. Again, he refused to judge her or call her fear weakness. He understood. Shaking her head, she went wordlessly into his arms, her tiny frame trembling.

Cole closed his eyes and wrapped his arms tightly around her, providing her with what comfort and reassurance he could in the human way, holding her and crooning softly. After a moment, he moved one hand from her back to her throat, lightly caressing and transmitting calming energy. 

"Jess, Mel will recover. She will be fine. You _have_ to believe this," he told her quietly, still stroking her throat. "She is a strong woman, Jess. I have never known a fighter like her before."

Jess let her eyelids drift shut, soothed by Cole's tender touch. There was just something so completely calming about it. She could feel her anxiety slipping away, could sense the slowing of her hammering heartbeat. She was not sure what he was doing or how, but she was grateful all the same. Mel had been right about him, he was amazing. As with the previous day's good night sleep, he had sensed exactly what she needed and he was, somehow, giving it to her. 

"Thank you, Cole," she murmured, grateful.

"Are you ready to see Mel now?" he offered. 

"Will you stay?"

"If you would like."

"I'd appreciate it, Cole." Jess gave a grateful nod. 

"Okay." He smiled and nodded faintly, slipping an arm around her shoulder and steering her to face Mel. "The nurses say we should talk to her," he suggested gently.

"Yeah, talk." Jess gave a faint nod and took the few steps to the bed.

"And if you keep your gloves on, you can touch her as well," Cole added. "And they say that we'll be able to take the gloves off very shortly. The antibiotics are working quite well."

"Good, that's good." Jess gave a shaky nod. 

"It's okay, Jess. Everything is going to be fine," Cole promised. 

Jess nodded and reached out slowly, hanging on to Cole's words as she hesitantly took one of Mel's hands into her own. "Hey, Mel," she greeted the woman she viewed as a sister, her voice hesitant and shaky. "Um… You get well soon, okay? I mean, otherwise who's going to keep me in line, eh?" She gave a nervous laugh and shook her head. "I have it on good authority that you're a fighter, Mel, and I'm inclined to agree. You going to let some _bug_ bring you down?" Jess shook her head more firmly. There was absolutely no way that Mel would let that happen. "You are going to be just fine, Mel. I just know it."

She glanced up at Cole and saw him nod his approval of her words. 

"Can we have a few minutes?" she asked Cole quietly.

"Of course you can, Jess." Cole nodded and gently squeezed her shoulder. "I'll be outside if you need anything at all."

"Thank you, Cole." Jess smiled gratefully as she watched him go, then turned her attention back to Mel. "So, um…" 

She shifted uneasily, suddenly a lot less at her ease now that Cole had left her. Closing her eyes, she shook her head firmly. He had _promised_ that Mel would be okay and she had to focus on that assurance. Cole may have had some odd and Forrest Gumpish mannerisms, but he was damned intelligent at bottom, and he had this way of _knowing_ things. So if Cole said that Mel was going to get better… she _was_, simple as that. 

"Mel," she began again, sitting down. "You do know that he's been in here with you almost every minute, don't you?" She smiled and shook her head. "He took the time to bring me home and… well, he forged a marriage certificate for the two of you… Long story." She chuckled and shook her head. "But other than that and giving me and Vic a little privacy with you, he's been here every minute. And I… I haven't, Mel, and I'm sorry. I probably wouldn't have come at all, either, except for Cole." She shook her head, aware that she was rambling. "I loved your grandmother, Mel. She was my best friend for a lot of years. She was the only family that I really had."

Jess shrugged, aware that, at some point after Irene's death, that had changed.

"You and Cole are my family now," she told Mel simply, shrugging. "I don't think I ever _told_ you that, but… it's true." She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. "Thing is, as much as _I _need you, I think Cole needs you more. You… you're one of those women like Irene. The kind who you can't know and _not _love." She smiled and shook her head. "So many people love you, Mel. We love you. Just… you bear that in mind, Mel, okay?"

"Miss Hauser?"

Jess looked up at the nurse. "Visiting hours over, are they?"

"Yes, I'm sorry." She nodded apologetically. 

Jess nodded and rose slowly. "Thanks. Cole still out there?" At the nurse's nod, she nodded again and followed her from the room, shedding her gloves and mask and joining him in the waiting area. "Hey, Cole," she greeted him gently, sitting next to him.

"Hello, Jess." He smiled down at her and gave her throat an absent caress. "You feel much better now, don't you?" he asked, knowing the answer.

"Yeah, yeah I do, Cole." She nodded. "Your cue to say 'I told you so'."

He smiled gently and shook his head. "I will not say that, Jess. I am pleased that you are feeling better. Will you require another ride home tonight?" he offered.

"Actually, I was thinking that I could give _you_ a ride home tonight, Cole," Jess replied quietly.

"You wish to tuck me in?" he asked with an innocent smile.

Jess, who had never actually heard Cole _joke_ before, smiled faintly. Shaking her head, she answered, "No, but I don't want you collapsing from exhaustion either, Cole. You _do_ need rest."

"I will not collapse, Jess," he promised simply, giving her a reassuring look. "I have gone without sleep for far longer than this in the past," he explained honestly. "_You_, however, should return home and get some rest. You can return in the morning." 

Jess frowned and started to protest, but stopped at the firm look on his face. It was not a look that she had seen from the mild-mannered and typically accommodating man, but she could still read it quite clearly. He had reached a decision and there was not a thing that she could say to change his mind.

"You sure, Cole? Because Vic or I would be more than glad to spend a night with her, give you a break."

"I do not wish for a break, Jess."

Jess frowned and nodded. "Okay, Cole. You… take care. I'll see you bright and early tomorrow."

"Okay." Cole smiled and nodded, rising and hugging her. "Sleep well, Jess. Call me if you need anything."

"Yeah, Cole," she agreed, leaving the waiting area. She stopped at the nurse's station. "Hey, looks like my brother's going to be here all night again. You think you could get him a cot or something?" It was, at least, something.

"Of course, Miss Hauser."  The nurse nodded readily, a little surprised that no one had thought of it before. "We'll find one right away."

"Thank you." Jess smiled at her. "You have a good evening."

"You too, Miss Hauser." The nurse watched her go before rising and entering Mel's room. "Mister Hauser?"

"Yes, nurse?" Cole asked, looking up from his thoughtful examination of Mel. She was definitely stronger.

"We're going to try to find a cot to bring in for you, so you can get some rest."

Cole smiled faintly. "You've been talking to Jess," he told her, nodding. "It is not necessary, though."

"It's no problem, really." The nurse nodded faintly. "And I'll talk to the doctor about seeing when those gloves can come off."  

His smile widened. "Thank you. I don't like these gloves." 

"No, of course you don't." The nurse nodded her understanding. "You have a good night, Mister Hauser."

"Thank you. You have a good night, too." Cole smiled at her as she left, then returned all of his attention to Mel. Her life-force was definitely stronger now than it had been before. She was, slowly but surely, on the mend. He could not have been happier. "Did you hear what the nurse said, Mel? I can take the gloves off, soon. I'm glad. I don't like the gloves. I want to touch your skin like I normally can. It feels different, better."  He tenderly caressed her throat. 

"Jess came in to see you," he reported. "I knew she would. She's braver than she knows, like you. She was scared, but she came. And I know you're scared now, too, but I need you to come back to me." He stroked her throat as he spoke. "You're stronger, I can tell. And they say that the antibiotics are working, so it's time for you to come home now, Mel."

***

Why was she having such a hard time waking up? Mel wondered groggily, struggling to shake off the confusion and disorientation clouding her mind. This was well beyond being a little sleep-drunk. Her brain simply refused to work as it was supposed to. She felt hung over but could not recall having had anything to drink the night before. In fact, much of the night before was a complete blank. She remembered closing and going to bed, but… more had happened after that, she was sure. Just not sure _what_.

She pushed that aside for a moment, trying to figure out why she felt so horrible and _weak_. Clicks and beeps and a wheezing sound slowly filtered into her awareness as she fought against her murky half-consciousness. If she could just wake up, she knew, everything would become clear. Why did her throat hurt so badly? she wondered. It was by no means the only part of her that was in discomfort, she realized. There was other pain: in her head, her stomach, her arms, in other places that she did not even want to think about. Panic began to edge its way into her awareness, and she could feel tears making their way down her face. What had happened? Where was she and who was doing this to her? Zin? She swallowed, hoping to relieve some of the dryness in her throat, and hopefully some of that nagging pain at the same time. Trying to swallow told her exactly why that particular bit of her body was in pain.

There was something in her throat! 

Horrified by the knowledge, her hands shot up and she struggled to pull the offending tube or whatever it was out of her mouth. Large, strong hands closed around hers, stilling them. Panic growing, she tried to fend off the hands, but was too weak to free her own from their grasp. Crying and whimpering in protest, she shook her head frantically. 

"_No, Mel_. The doctors say you still need that for a little while," a gentle voice whispered, washing away fear. "You can take it out later."

"Cole?" she asked. _Tried_ to ask. The tube made talking nearly impossible.

"It's okay, Mel. You're going to be okay," he promised, cautiously releasing her hands and caressing her throat. He smiled in approval when Mel did not try to pull the breathing-tube out again. The doctors had warned him that she might try to when she started to regain consciousness.

Mel opened her eyes and stared into his. He was crying. Weakly, she reached up and smoothed away his tears, her expression questioning. 

"It's what happens when you care," he reminded her gently. Brushing a few stray curls out of her face, he explained, "I'm just happy that you're awake again."

_Awake again?_ Mel regarded him in confusion, not sure what to make of his words until she began to take in her surroundings. Hospital, she was in a hospital… She certainly felt like she needed one. But why, what had happened? She supposed that she could figure that out later. The important thing was that Cole was there and did not seem dreadfully worried. Good sign. She watched as he leaned around her and hit the call-button, his free hand still caressing her face and throat.

Enjoying his touch, soothed by it, she looked around the room, frowning as she took in all the strange machines and monitors. This was _not_ a normal hospital room. She was in the ICU! But why? She made an interrogative noise at Cole and he smiled reassuringly down at her.

"It's okay, Mel. You were very sick, but now you are getting better."

Very sick, but getting better. She had been _worse_? Wow… Mel nodded weakly and lifted her hands to his shoulders, pulling weakly. Cole looked a little confused by her actions, but let her pull him against her. When she wrapped her arms around his broad back and buried her face in his chest, he nodded his understanding and slipped his arms under her, pulling her body into his and smiling as he buried his face in her hair.

"Hey, look who's awake!" the nurse said with a smile from the door. "Bet you've never been quite so happy to hug your wife, huh, Mister Hauser."

_Wife? _Mel leaned away far enough to give Cole an incredulous look. Cole smiled at the nurse and ignored Mel's look. 

"Very happy," he assured her. "I like hugging Mel."

"I'm sure you do. Think you could put her down for a few minutes so we can look her over?"

Cole nodded and gently returned Mel to her previous, prone position. "Mel, I need to call the others. They have all been worried as well. Will you be okay here alone for a few minutes?"

Mel nodded and watched him go, feeling strangely alone without him in the room. She caught the nurse's hand as she worked and gestured towards that horrible breathing-tube.

"We'll have to see what the doctor says about that one," she told Mel gently. "He's on his way."

Mel nodded and leaned back again, closing her eyes and letting the nurse work, still trying to figure out what she had missed.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 

"Hey, sis," Mel teased as Jess entered the room.

"Oh, you aren't still on about that, are you, Mel?" Jess asked, shaking her head.  

Mel had initially been horrified to discover that Jess had been passing as her sister and Cole as her _husband_. Actually, the first part had not bothered her at all, just that Cole/husband connection. After a day or so, though, she had been much amused by the deception, and had applauded Jess for thinking on her feet so successfully. 

"Me, I'd exploit it," she told Mel with a smile. "Your _husband_ will be picking you up in a few minutes. You should have a good shag to celebrate your homecoming."

"_Jess!_" Mel laughed, shaking her head. "How many times do I have to tell you--"

"Just friends. _Right._ That's why he stayed with you in the ICU for three days and stayed up here with you for another four. The man is _completely_ gone on you, Mel."

Mel flushed and bowed her head. "He just worries…" 

"If you say so, Mel." Jess shook her head. "How are you feeling?"

"Better. Tired," she admitted. "But better. How's Isabel?" she asked, leaning back and resting her suddenly-aching head against the pillows.

"A lot better, Mel. Going to class, ready to come back to work part-time."

"Good, that's good. You guys making due okay without me?" she asked.

"Well, it's hard, but we're managing. Cole helps when he can, but I guess work's been backlogging for him since you got sick, so he's got his hands full."

"I'll bet," Mel sighed. "Don't worry. I'll be able to get back to work in a day or two."

"Right away, Mel? Isabel wasn't nearly as sick as you, and she's still _really_ weak…"

"Jess, relax. I just… I _need_ to get back to work." She did, too. She was getting a _serious_ case of cabin fever just laying around all day.

"Yeah, just… don't overdo, okay, Mel?"

Mel smiled at her friend's obvious concern. "I won't, Jess. I promise." 

"What was it like, Mel? Being that sick?"

"I don't know." Mel shrugged. "I honestly don't remember, with some of the drugs they had me on. Just asking Cole to bring me in, then… waking up and being scared. And then hearing a familiar voice and knowing that it would be okay."

"So, what? It's like two and a half days are just… _gone_?"

"Basically." Mel nodded. "It's like when you're asleep, I guess. You just don't really know what's going on around you. Or you don't remember. There are… bits and pieces, but not really that much." She shrugged again.

"What kind of stuff, though?"

"Cole bringing me in, the spinal tap… voices."

"Voices?"

"I might as easily have dreamed it," Mel admitted. "Just… snatches of conversation. Nothing really distinct or recognizable." 

Which was not entirely true since she was _sure_ that she remembered hearing Cole talking and singing to her more than once. She was not about to admit to Jess that she had 'dreamed' about Cole while unconscious, and she was more than half-sure that it _was_ only a dream. After all, she had never heard Cole singing before. She was less sure that she had dreamed the other things she thought she had heard from him, less sure she _wanted_ those things to have been a product of her imagination. _Come back to us. We need you. **I** need you…_

Jess nodded. "Guess you can't be expected to remember too much. The nurse said something about the drugs being amnesiacs or something?"

Mel nodded. "That's what the doctors said. They use them a lot, I guess, for more serious illnesses." Mel exhaled deeply and shook her head. "It's still kind of hard to believe that I was on death's door for two days and I don't remember…"

"The doctors and nurses say that it is good that you can not remember everything, Mel," Cole announced gently from the door. "Are you ready to go?"

"More than," Mel assured him, nodding firmly. "Ten days in the hospital is ten days too many, Cole."

He nodded, frowning faintly. "But you are well now, so it's okay."

"Yeah, well," she sighed, nodding. Well… Except for the headaches, fatigue, and dizzy spells. "Well," she repeated.

"Everything is going to be fine now," Cole promised, looking up as a nurse entered with Mel's discharge papers.

***

First night back, and it definitely felt good to be home, Mel reflected. 

Cole was being an absolute doll about things, fetching and carrying and being incredibly patient with her in spite of all the things that she could no longer do on her own. He had gone shopping that morning and the fridge and pantry were fully stocked with all of her favorites. Just as well since she had lost some weight in the hospital. Cole seemed dedicated to putting it back on her. Lunch and dinner had both been huge and he kept urging seconds on her and trying to feed her snacks.

She had just finished dinner and retired to the bathroom for a nice long soak. She _needed_ one after almost two weeks in the hospital. Just one minor problem with that plan, she realized, blowing out the candles she had scattered around the room. The doctor had warned her, but she had not taken him seriously. Too weak to climb into the tub? That was just silly. She may have been weak, but she was not _that_ weak. Except that she was… She might have managed to make it in, but the odds were better that she would fall and crack her skull in the attempt. And even if she got in, she knew there was no way she was getting out.

Shaking her head in frustration, she pulled on her bathrobe again and left the bathroom. She could try again after she woke up in the morning, when she was not drained from a long day. She wanted to go to her room and climb into bed, but the living room couch was closer and she was too tired to go much farther. Sighing and batting at her tear-filled eyes, she sank on to the couch.

"I thought you were going to take a bath, Mel?" Cole asked gently from the kitchen, walking into the living room and sitting next to her on the couch. "Is something wrong?" he added, frowning as he noticed that she was near tears.

"Just really tired," she sighed, leaning against his shoulder. 

"You decided to go straight to bed without your bath?" he guessed.

"Um… something like that, yeah. Will you walk me so I have someone to lean on?"

Cole frowned. "You should take your bath first, Mel." 

"I'll take it in the morning," she answered quickly.

"Personal hygiene is extremely important, Mel," he told her gently.

"Do _not _throw my own words back in my face, Cole!" she snapped.

"You can't get into the tub by yourself, can you?" he said quietly, and it was no question. "Mel, why didn't you call me? The doctor said you might need my help."

"The doctor thinks we're married, Cole," she reminded him, shaking her head. "I'll do it in the morning." 

"I don't understand, Mel. Why won't you let me help you?"

"Because this is not like you getting me another blanket or a glass of water or cooking dinner, Cole," Mel sighed.

"You're shy? Embarrassed?"

"A little," she admitted, shrugging. "But it's not _just _that either, Cole. I just… have you ever _been_ so weak that you can't do anything for yourself?"

He nodded. "Yes, Mel. And I understand how frustrating it can be, but you should not let that stop you from accepting the help that you need, either." 

"I can have Jess help me tomorrow. I just need a hand in and out."

"Mel, there is no reason that I can not provide that to you," Cole pointed out.

"Cole, we can't." Mel shook her head, blushing. 

"Human modesty," Cole realized, shaking his head. "Mel, there is no reason for you to be shy with me. Not over this. It is caring for the sick, that is all. It is no different than anything else I have done for you today and no different than you helping me in the beginning."

Mel sighed and looked up at him, gentle and reasonable as always. If there was a man that she could trust _not_ to take advantage of a situation like this, it was Cole. She was no less embarrassed, of course, but a little more comfortable all the same. And she really _could_ use a bath.

Cole smiled gently as he saw the acceptance in her eyes. He rose and helped her to her feet. "If it is a comfort, Mel, I have cared for sick adults before," he reassured gently as he walked her into the bathroom. He put down the toilet seat and sat Mel down before turning his attention to the tub and filling it.

"You have?" she asked. "I didn't think you guys got sick."

"Not often," he allowed, finding a bottle of her favorite bubble-bath and pouring a few capfuls into the warm water. "But it is not unheard of. Nallyn, before she became my sister-in-law, she became very ill with a Vardian disease, sometimes lethal to my people. Most other Cirronians were afraid. I stayed with her and cared for her until she was well." He dipped his hand into the water, testing its temperature and nodding to himself.

"Weren't you scared of getting sick?" Mel asked quietly.

He nodded. Noting that she had the candles out, as she often did when she planned on a relaxing bath, he retrieved the lighter from the medicine cabinet and lit them. Candlelight would be better for Mel than the fluorescent glare of the overhead lights. 

"Of course I was. It was a dangerous disease among my people. But Nallyn is my friend and she had no one else to stay with her at the time. Her husband could not come and leave the children alone and her family was not on the planet. _Someone _had to stay with her." He approached and offered her his hand. 

"You are amazing," Mel whispered, letting him help her to her feet.

He smiled faintly and shook his head. "No, Mel. I just care about my friends. You would have done the same, I think."

"She's your sister-in-law?"

"She was not at the time. We were simply close friends then. She introduced me to her sister years later."

"Oh." Mel nodded, staring at her bare feet, stalling. "So… did you date?"

"Nallyn and I?" Cole asked, smiling and staring at her. "Mel, Nallyn is married, I told you. She has been since before I knew her."

"Oh, yeah. Guess you did say she was married. Sorry. My brain's not working like it used to yet."

Cole nodded his understanding and gently touched his fingertips to her forehead. "It will," he promised. "You just require time and rest to recover."

"Yeah." Mel nodded weakly. "I know. Thanks."

"Your water will get cold," he pointed out, not unaware that she was stalling.

"Oh, you're right." She nodded slowly.

"I can not help you into the bath while you are still wearing this robe, Mel," he pointed out gently.

"No, guess you can't," Mel agreed, still making no move to take it off.

"Would it make you more comfortable if I took my clothes off as well?" he offered.

"_No!_" Mel gasped, staring at him. Trust Cole to totally miss the point in a situation like this. She supposed that it should have been comforting.

"Mel," he whispered, taking her hands in his. "It's going to be okay. I promise you." 

He held her hands for a moment before moving them to the belt of her robe. He could easily have taken the robe off of her and had her in the tub before she could protest, but he knew better. Mel was more than a little nervous with the whole situation and she had to be the one to make the decision. If he took that from her hands, he was killing the trust between them. He waited, his expression reassuring.

"I'm being really silly, aren't I?" she whispered after a moment.

Cole shook his head gently. "No, Mel. You are just acting the way your culture tells you that you should. It's not right _or_ wrong, but exceptions must be made when necessary. Right now, it is necessary. Will you let me help you?"

She nodded shakily and unbelted the robe with a muttered, "I can't believe I'm doing this."

"You said the same thing the first time we met," he pointed out gently, gathering her into his arms and transferring her into the tub. Knowing that it would make her uncomfortable to have him looking at her body, he kept his eyes firmly fixed on her own as he lowered her into the water and the visual barrier which the bubbles provided. "Do you remember?" he asked, settling her before pulling his arms out of the water and grabbing a towel to dry himself. "Right before you offered me that ride." He dropped to his knees next to the tub. "I like to think that it was a good decision that you made, Mel," he told her gently, touching her forehead again. "It hasn't all been bad, has it?"

Mel smiled shakily and glanced hesitantly into his beautiful eyes. "No, not even mostly bad. Definitely one of the better decisions I've made where men are concerned," she admitted, swallowing hard.

"It's going to be okay, Mel," he whispered, giving her throat a gentle caress. "Will you be able to bathe yourself?" he asked gently.

"I think so." She nodded slowly. 

The idea of Cole bathing her was both nerve-wracking and compelling, a reaction that surprised her. She was past being nothing but uncomfortable about things like nudity and sexuality where Cole was concerned. Instead, more and more, she found herself experiencing the kind of nervousness that came from anticipation and expectation. What would it be like for Cole to bathe her? Even if his intentions were innocent, she knew that her body's reaction would be less than. But when had that happened? And why? Was it just that she viewed Cole as a human now, or was there more to it? That she viewed him not as a human but as a _man_ and potential lover? She resisted the urge to let out a nervous laugh at the realization that this last one was closer to the truth. No, Cole was _definitely_ not bathing her tonight…

"You will call me if you need help," he told her firmly. "And you will call me when you are ready to get out."

Mel found herself on the receiving end of a look that made contradiction or defiance impossible. She was suddenly well able to believe that this man had once been a school-teacher.

"Okay," she murmured, nodding. 

She smiled to herself as she watched him go. He really was something else. No wonder she had to work so hard to keep herself from falling for him. No wonder all that hard work was completely failing to work. Shaking her head, she reached for a sponge.

***

"Wake up, Mel," a gentle voice whispered in her ear. 

Warm fingers rearranged her hair and caressed her cheek and forehead. She smiled and leaned her face into the touch but refused to open her eyes. She was too warm and relaxed.

"Come on, Mel," Cole ordered more firmly. "This is no place for you to sleep. You're not Nodulian."

"So?" she asked languidly.

"So the fact that you can not breathe water makes sleeping in a full bathtub without anyone to watch over you a bad idea." 

"Mmm, guess you're right." She nodded weakly. "Let me just wash my hair and--"

"I'll do it," he offered gently. "You go back to sleep and I'll wake you up when I'm done."

"Oh, Cole. You don't have to…"

"I don't mind, Mel," he assured her, reaching for her favorite shampoo and the shower-spray. "This way you can rest some more."

Hard to resist that gentle tone of voice, or the opportunity to spend a few more minutes relaxing in a warm bath. She nodded and closed her eyes again, allowing Cole's hand to support her head as he wet her hair. She refused to let herself think about what an intimate thing this was, focusing instead on how amazing Cole was to do it for her. And how wonderful his strong fingers felt as they massaged the lavender-scented shampoo into her hair.

Cole smiled when Mel let out a soft purr, pleased that she had overcome enough of her discomfort about the situation to be able to enjoy his touch. Humans were a _very_ tactile species, thriving on physical contact. If his touch could provide her with some measure of comfort, then he was happy to be able to provide that. Besides which, caring for Mel was a _very_ pleasant activity. It spoke to something within his soul, reminding it of a life almost forgotten. Taking care of Mel was like having a wife and daughter to look after again.

Mel craned her neck and smiled back at him. "I appreciate this, Cole, I really do."

He smiled back at her, his soapy fingers finding her throat. "It's not something I mind doing, Mel," he told her honestly. "I like being able to help you."

"And I really appreciate having you here _to_ help me."

He smiled warmly and spent a few more minutes lathering her hair, just enjoying the way it felt to touch her in this new way. Mel relaxed into his touch, drifting in and out of sleep as she enjoyed having those amazing hands massaging her scalp. She let out a soft sigh when he turned on the shower-spray.

"You okay, Mel?" he asked gently, testing the temperature of the water with his hand before moving it to wet her hair. 

"Fine," she assured him, letting Cole maneuver her head so he could rinse her hair without getting water in her eyes.

"Okay, Mel." 

He smiled and finished rinsing her hair, letting the water run through her hair for a few more moments just to be sure. He gently squeezed out most of the water with his hands before reaching for a towel.

"Oh, I can do that, Cole," Mel said, reaching up.

He wordlessly batted her hands away and set about drying her hair. When he had mostly dried it, he reached for a comb and began brushing. More than once he had seen Mel sit on the couch after her evening shower, fighting with the tangles in her hair. He did not want her to tire herself that way, so he gently worked through the snarls in her hair as she dozed beneath him. It was an activity he could see himself getting used to, and he resolved to offer to assist Mel the next time she seemed to be having trouble with her hair.

When he was done, he gave her a gentle shake. The water was beginning to get cold, and it would never do for her to lay in a cold bath. "Wake up, Mel," he whispered.

"Five more minutes?" she yawned.

"Come on, Mel."

She felt a hand brush her ankle and heard water begin to drain from the tub. Her eyes shot open and she started to sit up. Changing her mind, she tried to sink deeper under the rapidly-dropping water.

"It's okay, Mel," Cole reminded her gently, draping a large, fluffy towel over his shoulder before reaching into the tub and pulling her to her feet.

Mel shivered in the cold bathroom, grateful that Cole kept his eyes fixed on her face as he wrapped the towel around her and lifted her into his arms. He carried her to her room and sat her down on the edge of her bed, searching her drawers until he found a pair of warm pajamas. Mel quickly dried herself while his back was turned and accepted the pajamas with a smile, managing to stifle the worst of her embarrassment over the whole situation. Cole was only trying to help, after all, and that help _was_ needed, no matter how much she might wish to believe otherwise.

Cole, seeming to sense that it might be stepping over a recently redrawn line, made no attempt to help her change into her pajamas, waiting in the hall instead, his back to the open bedroom door in case he was needed. 

"Okay, Cole," she told him when she had finally managed to get her top buttoned properly. With her fumble-fingers, it was no easy task.

He returned to the room and helped her into bed, his eyes searching her thoughtfully.

"What?" she asked, shifting uneasily as he tucked her in.

He smiled reassuringly at her, shaking his head and caressing her throat as he turned off the light. "Get some rest, Mel," he directed. "What would you like for breakfast? Pancakes? Waffles?"

"Whatever you feel like making is fine, Cole," she assured him, snuggling under her blankets and trying to reclaim the drowsy state she had experienced in the bathtub.

He nodded and dropped to his knees next to the bed, resting his chin on the mattress. "I will be in the war-room if you need anything at all," he assured her.

"Cole? You were with me in the hospital for… what, a week?"

"Almost, Mel." He nodded easily. "A little more than six days, I think. Why?"

"You went that long without working?" Mel whispered, surprised. Cole was _always_ working. He never went more than a day or two without doing something related to his Tracking.

He nodded and absently caressed her throat. "Yes, Mel. I had other concerns."

"But everything's… okay?" she asked, looking up at him.

He stared blankly at her for a moment before smiling and nodding. "Yes, Mel. Nothing went wrong because I was too busy to Track. Everything is fine."

"Will you keep me company for a few minutes?" she asked hopefully, closing her eyes as she confessed, "I really don't think I'm going to be able to sleep right now. It's strange, but sleeping alone is really hard now…"

Cole gazed down at her thoughtfully. "I will stay when you need me to," he told her simply.

She opened her eyes and smiled up at him. "I really do appreciate it, Cole," she told him honestly.

"Rest now, Mel," he ordered gently, moving to sit next to her. His caresses changed from affectionate to relaxing and he could feel her life-force respond accordingly. "There you go," he encouraged as she yawned. He smiled as he watched her face relax. "I'll take good care of you, Mel," he promised tenderly. "And I'll stay for as long as you need me to," he added.

His smile faded slightly as he absorbed what he had just said. It was innocuous, but laden with additional meaning. Would he _really_ have stayed if she asked? On Earth? After his job was done? Shaking that off, he returned all of his attention to the lovely creature relaxing under his touch. She was quite near sleep, but he would stay with her for some time after she slept, comforting and protecting her. Her life-force seemed to have developed a minor dependence on his own.

It would have worried him more if he had not recently become aware of a similar problem with his own. 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 

So carrying the box out into the bar by herself had been a bad idea, Mel decided, panting and blowing her hair out of her face as she resettled the case of bottles. She was just getting sick and tired of Cole refusing to let her do anything for herself and felt this overwhelming need to prove that she could still do everything that she had been able to do before. 

Or not.

She fumbled the box and dove to catch it before it could hit the floor, shattering its contents. By the time she had finished her first startled curse, the box was resting on the bar, its contents in-tact, and she was upright in Cole's arms. Her favorite Cirronian did _not_ look happy.

"That box is too heavy for you to be carrying, Mel," he informed her levelly. "And you _told_ me that you were going to take a nap."

She jerked free of his arms and shook her head, angry. She knew it was irrational, but that only made her feel _more_ angry at him, for being right. "Do _not_ start, Cole!"

"Mel, you will never get better if you do not _rest_ as the doctors advised!" he sighed, frustrated. 

"So I'm just supposed to lay in bed all day?" she snapped. "Haven't I done enough of that in the past two weeks? _Eleven_ _days_ I wasted in that hospital, Cole, and another three upstairs doing nothing. I want my _life_ back!" she shouted, tears in her eyes.

"Mel," he whispered, gathering her into his arms. He hated it when she cried. It made his heart ache and made him want to cry right along with her. "You are tired and must rest if you are to get well," he counseled. 

She shook her head, pulled away and started removing bottles from the box. "No, Cole. I have a lot of work to do. I need to catch up…"

"The rest of us will handle it," he told her firmly. "You must rest."

"I'm _fine_."

He frowned, irritated by her refusal to see reason. "You are not fine, Mel. You are very weak and I want you to go upstairs now and _rest_."

"No, Cole," she said firmly, shaking her head.

Cole walked up behind her and scooped her up into his arms.

"Hey! Put me down!" she protested, glaring and punching his shoulder.

"Uh, guys?" Jess asked quietly, entering the bar.

"Mel is overexerting herself and must rest now, Jess," Cole told her simply, tightening his hold on the struggling woman. "She will not be working today or tomorrow. We will see about the day after that."

Jess looked at the box on the bar. "She try to move that by herself?" she asked Cole. At his grim nod, she frowned. "Yeah, time for some enforced inactivity, I think. You _handcuff_ her to that bed if you have to, Cole." She smiled slyly. "In fact, I've a nice pink pair I can lend you," she offered helpfully, pointedly ignoring the look of shock and horror on Mel's face.

Cole frowned in confusion as to why _Jess_, a woman in no way involved in law-enforcement, should be in possession of handcuffs. Why they should be _pink_ was a source of even greater confusion. He shook that off, though. It could be addressed later.

"If Mel does not stay in bed where she belongs, Jess, I think I _will_ borrow them. Thank you." He looked down in concern as Mel groaned softly. "Are you okay, Mel?" he asked tenderly.

"Forget it, Cole. Just put me down, huh?"

"No, Mel. I am going to bring you to bed now."

"Just try and remember that she needs _rest_, Cole," Jess called after them cheerfully, giggling as Mel glared at her over Cole's shoulder.

"What did Jess mean, Mel?" Cole asked as he gently arranged Mel on her bed and pulled off her shoes and socks. He looked up at her curiously as he absently balled the socks together. "Why else would I bring you to bed?"

Mel gave an expressive shrug and shook her head. "Never mind, Cole. She's just being Jess."

"She is a very sweet young woman, Mel," Cole noted quietly, opening one of her drawers and pulling out a pair of pajamas. "I'm very glad that I thought to call her after I brought you in, otherwise it would have been much harder to get in to see you."

"Yeah, only Jess would think to come up with a plan like that." Mel smiled and accepted the pajamas from him with a sigh. "And only _you_ would think to forge a marriage certificate and driver's license to back it up!" she added, more amused than irritated. "You do realize that's _illegal_, don't you?" 

"Yes, Mel." He nodded placidly, turning to leave. "Sleep well, Mel."

"Cole, I'm not tired," she protested. At his look, she shrugged. "Exhausted, yes, but _not_ tired. I'll lie down, but I doubt I'll be able to sleep."

Cole considered this, nodding. "Change into those. I'll make some tea and bring you a book."

Mel nodded weakly, giving in. Something told her that Cole was _not_ going to let her leave her room today. Maybe she could at least get him to keep her company. Shaking her head, she changed and sat down on the bed, feeling a little out of breath from the 'effort'. Cole tapped on the door and waited to receive her permission before entering, bearing a steaming mug and her favorite novel.

"Thank you," Mel told him with a smile, accepting both. Used to it by now, she let Cole arrange her in the bed to his satisfaction and tuck her in.

Cole nodded. "Call me if you need anything," he told her.

She reached up and touched his cheek with the back of two fingers. "Thank you, Cole. I appreciate it. I appreciate _everything_ that you did and… are still doing for me."

Cole closed his eyes, enjoying the way her cool fingers felt against his face. "Cirronians watch over those they care for, Mel," he explained at a whisper, startled by his intense physical reaction to her touch. He opened his eyes and smiled faintly at her. "Rest now, Mel," he suggested tenderly, stroking her throat. 

"Will you stay?" she requested hopefully. "We can talk…"

He smiled and nodded, sitting on the edge of the bed. "I like talking to you, Mel."

"We don't talk enough," Mel told him. "You've been here for almost three months now and… I sometimes feel like I don't know the first thing about you."

Cole nodded slowly. He often felt the same about Mel. "What would you like to know?" he offered.

"Um, I don't know." She shrugged. "Jess said you have a sister?"

He nodded. "Sister-in-law, actually, but very much like a sister. Nallyn. We worked together for many years, and then she introduced me to Nallia. But I considered her a sister long before I met my wife. Nallyn waited to introduce us. She said she knew we would fall in love, and wanted to be sure that I was worthy of _her_ sister. Nallyn was always very protective of Nallia."

Mel smiled. "Did the two of you get married right away?"

"Not right away, Mel. We spent… almost a year coming to know each other." He paused for a moment, closing his eyes. A slight smile played across his face. "Oh, she was very different from her sister, Mel. To meet them, you would not know that they were related. Nallyn is… more like you. Strong, a fighter. Nallia was a… peace-maker." He smiled faintly. "Nallia was a musician, an artist. Only beauty interested her, and harmony." 

"She must have been a remarkable woman," Mel observed quietly.

"She truly was," he agreed, nodding to himself. "Not without her flaws, I think, but I was too in love to see them. All I saw was her beauty and quiet compassion. She was like you in that, Mel."

Mel smiled faintly, too touched by his description of his amazing wife to give much thought to the compliment. "And your daughter? What was she like?"

His smile widened. "Ashi was… the daughter of both parents. On Cirron and here too, I think, a child may be referred to as her father's daughter or her mother's daughter, much more like one than the other. But you could see us both in Ashi. She was sweet and gentle, like her mother, but never content except when asking questions or receiving answers, like me. She would not have been an artist, I think. She was not interested in beauty, only in Truth."

"Like her father?" Mel guessed.

Cole shrugged noncommittally. "I don't know, Mel. I used to think I understood Truth. Now I am less sure. Ashi was her own person. She would have been one of the great…"

Mel smiled. "And I'll bet she had your spirit."

He nodded. "My spirit and her mother's heart, Nallyn always said."

"And they were your only family? Nallia and Ashi and Nallyn?"

Cole nodded. "And their family. My own parents died… many years ago. I was a young man. I still miss them very much."

"I'll bet you do." Mel nodded. "My… my mom died giving birth to me," she told Cole quietly.

"Mel," he whispered, caressing her throat, his expression sympathetic. It was a loss he could understand.

"It's why my grandmother raised me. My father married again when I was eight, but his wife didn't really want me."

He frowned. "Your father was alive but… did not raise you?"

"It was hard for him, Cole," she said with a  shrug. "I reminded him of my mother, I think. He provided for me, everything I needed, and it's not like I didn't know him, but he thought that I should be raised by a woman…" 

She shook her head. No point in trying to explain to him the politics of a second wife who wanted 'their own' children, or her father's reluctance to see her in boarding school because he worked 80-hour weeks on a regular basis. No point in trying to explain to him how her grandmother was 'mama' and her father was 'sir', her grandmother's 'friend'. No point at all in trying to explain any of those things to a man like Cole. No point in dwelling on them at all any more, she told herself firmly. Before her death, her grandmother had been very firm that it was time for Mel to start a new life for herself. 

She shook her head again. "Doesn't matter, Cole. Really."

He frowned but nodded. "The grandmother who raised you was the one who owned this bar?"

Mel nodded. "She was like a mother to me, Cole, but a friend, too. I was lucky to have her. She taught me everything I needed to know to make my own way in the world and she was supportive and understanding and… and… I miss her," she added quietly.

Cole winced at the obvious pain in her voice. It was a pain he could understand, that of being young and alone. Closing his eyes, he reached out and caressed her throat gently.

"She told me, before she died, that it was time for me to start over. She also told me never to be surprised by anything that I encountered in my life." She covered the hand on her throat with one of her own and quietly quoted some of her grandmother's last words. "'Melanie Irene Porter, there are things in this universe that you can not even _begin_ to conceive of. Now, if you're lucky, you will never see a one of them. If you're _more_ lucky, you'll only see one and you'll find for yourself what I found in your grandfather.'"

"What did she mean, Mel?" he asked.

"True love, I guess." Mel shrugged. Her grandfather had died a few months before her birth in some sort of robbery, protecting her grandmother, but Mel felt that she knew him all the same. "They loved each other so much, Cole. They… she said that they gave each other meaning. When he died, she lost a lot of that. She never stopped missing him, but I think raising me must have helped take her mind  off of her grief, you know?"

Cole nodded his understanding. "Yes, Mel. Having something else to occupy your mind can ease grief. It is still hard, but responsibilities or love can give you a reason to carry on."

"Yeah, they do," Mel agreed quietly, nodding. 

She had spent the last two and a half months firmly reminding herself every time she looked at this gorgeous and gentle man that he was not human, but the truth was that he was more human than many of the men she had dated. She had been right to tell Jess in the beginning that Cole really was not that different than either of them. Human or alien, clueless or insightful, his mind worked a lot like that of anyone else. The differences, where they existed, were minor and more about context than anything.

"What were you like as a child, Mel?" he asked abruptly, curious.

"Not so different." She shrugged. "My grandmother always did say that I was a horrible patient," Mel chuckled. "I couldn't stand to sit or lay still for very long. I… I remember this time when I was probably around eight. I was home sick with the chicken pox. It's a human disease," she explained at his questioning look. "It's not dangerous, but it's unpleasant and _very_ contagious, so you can't go to school while you have it."

He nodded his understanding. "There are similar children's diseases on Cirron."

"Ah, okay. So I was home sick, and she tucked me into bed and went downstairs to check on how things were going in the bar… and I snuck out of bed and went exploring in the basement. There was always so much cool stuff down there. The old pictures were my favorite, but there were other things. I loved exploring down there, but she would never let me."

"So you went anyway?" he asked with a faint smile. It was the sort of thing he would have done as a boy. 

Mel nodded. "Oh, she was _so mad_. She caught me looking at some old diary or something she had down there. For a minute I actually thought she was going to spank me."

"Spank you? Strike you, Mel?" he asked, surprised. "In anger?"

"Well, I mean, she _didn't_. Came damned close." Mel shrugged. "Only time I've _ever_ seen her angry. She wasn't even mad about it being her _diary_, I don't think_._ Just said that I was too young and took it away." Mel shrugged again, dismissing the incident from her mind. "What were you like, Cole? As a child?"

"Me?" He smiled and shook his head. "The kind of child that Cirronian parents _pray_ not to have."

Mel regarded him with wide eyes, trying to imagine _Cole_ fitting any definition of a 'problem child'. She failed miserably. "How so?"

"Very adventurous," he explained. "Combined with curiosity, a child's limited understanding of the universe, and hyper-speed, Mel, it is a dangerous combination."

Mel regarded him with wide eyes. "Uh… yeah. I would say so." 

She nodded and swallowed hard, trying to picture a toddler version of Cole zipping around in hyper-speed, banging pans together, coloring on walls, and getting into absolutely _everything._ For some reason, the miniature Cole in her mind had freckles and was exploring _her_ apartment and jumping on _her_ couch. Probably not the safest line of thought when she was sitting with him in bed and still needed help in the tub, she decided, schooling herself to think of _anything_ else. 

"Was your daughter like that?" she asked quietly.

Cole smiled and nodded. "Yes. Nallia and I had our hands full, but I think I was probably a little harder to raise. Ashi was more inquisitive than anything, not as interested in exploring as long as _someone_ would explain what she wanted to know."

"Well, that's good anyway," Mel said quietly. After a few minutes of silence, she asked, "What was it like on Sar-Top, Cole?"

His smiled faded. How to explain the loneliness and despair of life on Sar-Top to her. "It was… a very cold place, Mel."

"You're not just talking about the temperature, are you?" she ventured quietly.

He shook his head faintly, not surprised that she had the insight to see beyond the words themselves. Her species was not so different from his own, not in the important ways. "No, Mel. But it doesn't matter." He gave her a slight smile. "Maybe you should rest now?" he suggested, not really wanting to talk about it.

Mel frowned faintly at that reaction. "Come here, Cole," she ordered, spreading her arms.

Cole hugged her as directed, not exactly sure _why_ she wanted him to, but not about to argue. There was something incredibly comforting about the touch. It felt good, too, holding Mel in his arms, natural, even, to use this 'alien' display of comfort and affection. With Mel, there was nothing the least bit alien about it. Holding Mel like this was like being home, a glorious combination of holding his daughter and touching his wife. He tightened his hold on her, burying his face in her hair and smiling to himself.

"I'm glad you're better, Mel," he murmured. 

She turned her head and smiled faintly at him. "Good to be back, Cole."

He smiled back, touching his forehead to hers. "I was so worried," he told her. "I felt helpless to help you or even to _try_ to help. I _hated_ it, Mel," he admitted quietly.

"Sure you did," she agreed quietly, cradling his face in her hands. "No one likes to feel helpless, Cole. Not ever, and there's nothing _wrong_ with that… It's a part of being alive." She gave him a gentle smile, touching her lips to his cheek for a moment. "You prayed for me?" she asked quietly, pulling away. "Jess says you prayed."

He nodded, touching his cheek with a thoughtful expression. "It was… something I could do," he explained absently, trying to make sense of why such a small, brief contact could have such an impact on him. "We all prayed, Jess and Vic and I."

"It's good to know that I have people who care," Mel said softly. 

"You have many people who care for you, Mel," he told her softly. "You have a spirit that makes it hard to know you and _not_ care."

She blushed and bowed her head. 

"You aren't alone, Mel," he whispered.

Her head shot up and she regarded him with wide eyes. Being alone was among her biggest fears in life, not just a condition she disliked but one she was actually _afraid_ of on some level. How Cole knew that was beyond her.

Cole touched her forehead with the back of two fingers. "You should never have to feel lonely, Mel."

She swallowed and nodded slightly. The quiet intensity in his voice as he spoke told her _exactly_ how Cole knew. Because he had the same fear. They had suffered through many of the same painful events in their lives, and they understood each other a little better as a result.

"We're not that different, are we?" she whispered.

"No, Mel. We aren't." He smiled and gave her another hug. Her body was near exhaustion, her life-force weaker than it had been just a few minutes ago. "Rest now. We'll talk more when you wake up, if you'd like."

"I'd like it a lot. We don't talk nearly as much as we should," Mel said, sliding under the covers and allowing Cole to tuck her in. She smiled up at him as he gently touched her forehead and then her throat. "I'll see you in a few hours."

He nodded. "I'll be in the war-room if you need me," he told her gently. "Sleep well, Mel." 

Knowing that sleep had been hard for her lately, he eased her into a dreamless slumber with a gentle burst of energy. On impulse, he dropped to the floor next to her bed, sitting and watching her sleep, a slight smile on her pretty face. She looked so at peace in this state, and even more beautiful to Cole than normal. He had given up trying to trace exactly _when_ this strange creature had become beautiful to him. He only knew that at some point she _had_. And no longer particularly strange, either. They had a great deal in common, more than he would have credited a few months ago before actually having _met_ a member of her species. The similarities made him feel less alone.

He reached out and brushed her hair out of her face, letting his fingers linger against her cool skin and smiling when her own smile grew wider. Her smile faded as he withdrew his hand, her expression looking troubled. Leaning closer still, he rested his chin on the mattress, his lips almost touching her ear as he began quietly crooning a Cirronian lullaby. 

**The End**


End file.
